When it comes to building relationships with others, there are a few key elements that must be considered. They are understanding your…
Network
Net worth
Netiquette
This is the essence of relationship building. Without understanding each of them, you will still get to where you want to, however this will shave off months, maybe even years to waiting.
Let’s just jump right in today, shall we?
Your Network is full of people you know and of people who know you. Relationships grow when they are cultivated. Simply reaching out to someone periodically for only favors (getting something from them) is not always going to work in the long run. Consequently, taking time to just say hi from time to time tells others that they are important enough to you to keep in mind.
The people you know are important. Take time to do an inventory (either mentally or physically) on who you know, how you know them, what they can do for you, and most importantly what you can do for them!
People who know you will see you differently than you see them. Ask yourself how they know you, what they can do for you, and why would they even consider doing anything for you. This is an important piece of the networking life center.
Next, your Net Worth is like the saying “you are only as successful as the sum of your five closest friends” which does hold some merit. It is true that in business, your success will be closely related to the sum of the five closest people to you. It is true that inside your personal relationships you will only be as strong and foundational as your five closest friends. The problem with this thinking is simple…
People often confuse friends and work. Sure, it is ok to have people in similar circles, however it is imperative to understand that not everybody’s circle is only business or that success is only defined through business. Business is important however it is not everything in life.
So…
Look around at your circles in both business, life, marriage, foundations, church, family, and friends and look at the five closest connections you have in each of them. If you are surrounded by a family that is nothing but ‘Debbie-downers’ the success of your family is at stake.
Maybe you need to add people to your circle. Perhaps you need to remove people from your circle. Regardless, your success is determined explicitly by those around you, so chose wisely and carefully.
Finally, grasping Netiquette is the most critical. Netiquette is something that element of understanding how networking works. When building relationships (networking 101), what typically sparks them is something shared. Throughout conversations with others look for those common threads and use them to build upon. Learning tact and timing is another essential element. It should feel and be natural.
Authenticity creates space for growth. Conversations that have that space will go deep, often quickly. Likewise, when someone speaks with authenticity there is no competitive spirit that will hinder growth, so people are more likely to reciprocate with authenticity too. Finally, when someone is authentic, two things happen. First, those who are drawn to you will show up and secondly, those who are not will fade away.
When relationships are not forced, either towards growth or separation, they will develop or distance naturally. There is a saying that talks about not breaking bridges and living at peace as best as possible with others. When we live authentically and allow relationships to develop naturally, even those who are distanced from us, when asked about us will often respond with something like “this person and I don’t mix, however they are good people” and that is key.
Authenticity = growth.