I had lost all sight of who I was, and even how to be happy. Then one day, it all changed. It didn’t happen overnight, but it happened. I was scrolling through Facebook and happened upon a random photo of a woman. She had long, brown hair and she was beautiful. Normal-beautiful, not supermodel beautiful. She was wearing a button up white shirt and a long, flowy, green skirt. Something about the image got my attention. I recognized something. I looked at the image and realized that I was so sick, depressed and hopeless feeling as a result of the debilitating condition happening, I hardly even cared what I looked like anymore. Her photo somehow triggered a remembrance of who I was. Before the accumulation of such tragic events and my world turning upside down over and over again. She was happy. The girl in the photo – from inside.
“I forgot I was fabulous,” I thought to myself. I had a remembering and a spark. I had forgotten what that was, what it felt like and who I was. Suddenly I felt and recognized a little sparkle deep inside and it was ME. The me before the shitstorms. The me who felt beautiful, happy, strong and in control. The me who could run circles around people from pure enthusiasm of life, who had endless motivation, energy and confidence and the me who believed good things were possible. Really possible, not just in the form of a distant dream. Good things used to happen to me all the time. Where was that girl? And how do I get her back?
It was like that spark inside somehow put me back in touch with me. I was reconnected to some source that I thought I had lost completely, but now I knew it was still there. It was only a spark but it was familiar and I recognized it and I grabbed onto it like a lifeline. It was joy. It made me feel less alone, and that I now had an inkling of who I was – I could be that girl again. That inkling became a full blown reconnection to me, with a new plan about how to renew what was left of me, and how to recreate a better version in the here and now, today. It gave me relief to know I wasn’t really gone after all, and that reconnection gave me the confidence and surety I needed to start doing some heavy lifting, planning and most importantly – remembering. That spark was my spirit. And that spirit was my fabulous. I just forgot I was fabulous. I was remembering, now.
You can remember that too. Even in the midst of chaos, sadness or loss. What does it take? I’ve honed that art, and use it in my work as an energy medicine teacher and practitioner and a medical intuitive. Forget every story in your mind about your current condition – mind, body or spirit, or the world’s condition, or your job’s, your family’s, literally – all of it. Drop it. They are just stories anyway. No matter what your current experience is, it’s a story nonetheless, and you can and should stop feeding it.
Feed your fabulous instead! Rewrite everything from wherever you are no matter what the world says or how you even feel. Tap into the child in you that wants to play, sing, dance, paint, build things, just be with no agenda. Tap into the joy again. Just be still and you, too, will remember your inner fabulous and will light you inside like a happy spark of joy and lightness. Let IT be your leader. Then, you will be in full rediscovery of your fabulous inside. It’s your spirit and it’s been calling out to you to remember it for a very long time. Listen.