They say ‘Life is not about you’. You often don’t learn this until you listen to yourself.
Moving past your judgements can feel like rough waters to wade through. Shitty first drafts. They’re not curious. They don’t have questions. They just know it all. They’re your immunity’s first responders. Your previous experiences’ Avengers. In service to the unconscious parts of yourself that have felt unfairly capitalized upon.
Yes, this clarity is never handed to you on a silver platter. The lesson goes.. in order to function better, you need to better know how you function. So here it goes:
You cannot heal what you are unwilling to listen to.
What stops you from listening is not who you think you are, but who you believe you are not.
Outside of this struggle lies a unique freedom. The ownership of your listening. The circle of responsibility and accountability that is ‘holding a space’. A courage that allows you to face your fears and dare to listen anyway.
It may feel unsafe after years of power struggles, criticism and neglect. It may feel you can’t give what you have yet to get. But I promise you..
Your listening is not an act against yourself.
Maybe you need to ask yourself “What do I need to give to myself to be a better listener?” “What experiences have made me feel listening to myself and others is unsafe?” Is it time to review those experiences? Is it time to create new, courageous and empathetic listening experiences?
So much of our living and listening is tied up in a belief that our personal power needs affirmation from another to be true. This is not the case.
You can empower your listening by using it on behalf of others. Listening, as contribution. Release your attachment to what you like. What has been convenient to hear.
Like is a small conversation, too small for what’s possible.
The most difficult conversations will be the conversations you’ve been avoiding having with yourself, about yourself not others.
Diplomacy with your feelings is the way through. But, diplomacy will not be popular or easy in a culture hell bent on being right. Have compassion. At the end of the day..
Your readiness is not your first line of business. Your willingness to learn is.
The need for a reason, or a story will bring you to your knees in times of contrast. If you increase the curiosity in your questions you will simultaneously raise the vibration of your listening.
Remember, to truly embrace something is to need nothing from it to change your experience. Your perceptions are negotiable. And, perfection is not the rule. You can choose, again.
Remember to listen.
And, dare to learn.
Originally published at medium.com