Rejection of any form, whether it is personal or professional, is known for the spur of several involuntary emotions and the first realisation is the feel of deep disappointment. Basically, it is the intensity of disappointment that will decide the further emotions like loss of hope, discontent, and self-criticism and in many cases will eventually lead to depression. It is hard to come across a person who had not faced rejection, but if there were people who had not faced one; then it would mean that they have not got a fine lesson that life can teach them. I have faced rejections and all those have made me strong and resilient. It is necessary to take them as priceless experiences, in order not to succumb to it. As it goes for many life situations, here as well, the following things that I am going to list out, to confront the rejection and rise up to what you really are, is, “easier said than done”. But I guarantee you that it is not undoable.
Seek help:It can be self-help or help from friends, but sought after it. Realise that help is not something to be asked for when things have gone out of hand. When you are still having the control over things that are happening, go on to talk about your problems with a trustable person in your life. It could be your well-wisher or a friend or a family member or a mentor. Depending on the situation at hand, know who will be the best choice to seek for the respective issue. If not a solution is arrived at, at least you will have some inputs to work on with the problems, which you could take over from there. Also, such discussions will allow you to realise the mistakes and therefore you can work on the rectifications.
Confront the reality; draw inspirations:Rejection or failure is not an end of what you would like to do. First of all, accept the rejection, convince yourself and above all believe in yourself. This will already give the strength for endurance and the clarity in mind to look for solutions. Most importantly, with acceptance you will learn to come over the disappointment, which is the cause of other emotions. At the same time, don’t look for being perfect, because perfectionism is not real. Draw inspirations from people around you or the personalities who you follow. For example, I got the inspiration to not look for perfectionism from myself, through Reshma Saujani, who encourage the act of being brave and accept that not being perfect is absolutely okay #bravenotperfect.
Identify your interests and spend large amount of time on it:To be off-course from the negative thoughts, after a rejection, it is highly important how and with whom you spend your time. Look for people in your circle who encourage you and pave way for constructive thoughts, stick to them often. Other things that I believe in mitigating any kind of pain, especially rejection are delving into book reading, listening to favourite music, watching comedy series that will make you forget everything and laugh harder, playing hands-on games like chess or rubik’s cube puzzle, doing one physical activity a day, meditation, writing a daily journal, taking relaxation trips (alone or with friends) and/or watching a child play or talk. In my personal experience, I have tried all the above and with time I have noticed that all of the above practices have improved the way I handle the situations. But these are not the type of solutions that will fit the interests of every person. One should identify the type of habit or hobby that will make them forget the miseries that they are going through and get hold of the situation. And it is vital to nurture those habits for long-term benefits and further on accomplishments.
Believe that you are destined for much better things:I am a strong believer of – “When you face rejection, it means that you are destined for something else that is much greater and deserving”. Never succumb to the situational or circumstantial issues, rather learn to clean up the mess either by yourself or with help from others and start looking for the best, suitable solutions. I say suitable because, the possibility of implementation differs from person to person and from situation to situation.
Always have plan B or even plan C (for professional rejections):I learnt this motto from the book called “How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie”. If we think of the worst outcomes after a rejection or failure or even fear for something, we will know what to expect or what might be the consequences. Once you picture that, your mind will stop inducing more fear. In addition to that, whenever we want to start looking for a job or start a business, it is wise to have alternate plans to execute if the present one doesn’t work out for the better. This will help you to reduce the worries and stress levels and focus on what is important, that is the work itself.
Life could be devastating at times and will test your patience or hope or the very existence, but never give up. The moment we are born, we are destined for something, big or small, so realise the importance of bigger picture of life and rise again and again, without feeling tired. As Oprah Winfrey says, “turn your wounds into wisdom” and share the wisdom with people who go through a similar situation that you went through. Do not fail in doing everything that you could, to control things that are in your hands and do not worry about things that are not in your hands. This is a great reminder at each and every time you feel the fear of rejection. As time goes and when you will look back through the path you have travelled, you can be proud of yourself, for all the lessons you learnt, the strength you built and the resilience you have attained.