Be accountable for your outcome. Success now is defined by setting goals based on your wants and needs and taking consistent action to achieve them. It is what you become in terms of character and resilience when working towards your objectives.
Have you ever noticed how often we equate success with more? Whether that’s more products, more profits, more activities or more accomplishments, we buy into the belief that we have to do more to have more to be more. And that will sum up to success. And then along comes The Great Resignation. Where employees are signaling that the “more” that’s being offered — even more pay, more perks, and more PTO — isn’t summing up to success for them. We visited with leaders who are redefining what success means now. Their answers might surprise you.
As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Rosa L. Antonini.
Rosa L. Antonini is a self-development author and software engineer with over 20 years of experience in metaphysics. Once she noticed the similarities between human behaviors and software engineering, she created an approach that combines the best practices from both domains to achieve success and self-fulfillment that is relevant to each individual.
Author Rosa Antonini – Self Help Women Books Best Seller
Rosa Antonini is a devoted philanthropist and Software Engineer. Throughout the years, she noticed the similarities…www.rosaantonini.com
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Thank you for making time to visit with us about the topic of our time. Our readers would like to get to know you a bit better. Can you please tell us about one or two life experiences that most shaped who you are today?
I was born in the Dominican Republic. Growing up, we experienced a number of financial struggles, just like many other families in the D.R. While my parents themselves had no access to education, my mother was very diligent in ensuring that most of us could go to school. I saw my parents working very hard, laborious jobs just to provide the very best they could for us. The constant hard work they went through, including seeing the fingers of my mother bleed from doing multiple jobs, made me decide that I was going to make enough money to live well and provide a good life to my parents, my family, as well as others around me. Unfortunately, my father passed before I had enough time to help him as much as I wanted to.
Another experience was when I started working as a pharmacist; we used to get free samples from labs, and I gave most of them to people who could not afford to see a doctor or buy medicine. To this day, I still remember an older woman from the community and how grateful she was for a small tube of cream that could help her skin condition. She gave me so many blessings, hugs and kisses, that still bring tears to my eyes because what I did was so little, but it meant so much to her. Sometimes people don’t help others because they think their contribution is too little, but actually, it may mean the world to a person in need.
We all have myths and misconceptions about success. What are some myths or misconceptions that you used to believe?
I believe that the greatest myth of all is believing that money will make you happy and successful. Don’t get me wrong; everyone needs money. We need it to afford a house, transportation, food, medical services, and education. Based on my personal experience and what I’ve seen in others, these myths and misconceptions of success occur if they become the sole objective of an individual. Success means something different for each person, it can depend on their starting block, age, and the state of things in their life.
For someone struggling to cover their basic financial needs and responsibilities, money should be the natural definition of success during that phase. The question is, what happens once that person achieves financial stability? Does money continue to be their driving force, and if so, why? Becoming consumed by financial greed where no amount is ever enough, will very likely be a source of major regret in the future. It is unlikely that a life without a proper balance between priorities and goals will ever achieve real success. I know people who have everything money can buy, yet they are always looking for the next shiny object to fill the emptiness of their soul.
How has your definition of success changed?
When I came to the United States, I had to financially start from scratch. My education as a pharmacist was not recognized in this country, so becoming successful simply meant earning as much money as I possibly could. This was how I got into the technology field. After achieving some financial stability, like buying a house at the age of 23, I decided to have a child. Once I became a mother, my priorities and focus shifted. I continued learning and mastering my career in the STEM field, but I became choosy about the companies I would work for. Basically, I would not work for a company that required traveling that would take me away from my kids.
I’ve always chosen family and balance over excessive money, and the result of this decision has always left me feeling right. I started to develop a sense of life fulfillment. However, I’m not suggesting this should be the definition of success for everyone. This is a custom path that only you can identify for yourself. In general, most people will feel successful if they live with purpose and follow their dreams, create plans, set goals, and take action to achieve them. Happiness and self-fulfillment mean different things to each of us.
The pandemic, in many ways, was a time of collective self-reflection. What changes do you believe we need to make as a society to access success post pandemic?
The pandemic brought a basic reminder: Life can change in a second, and we need to learn to be flexible, adapt, and have backup plans. It highlighted the importance of thinking about the future without ever taking the present for granted. During the pandemic, many people were forced for the first time to take a break from their busy daily cycles, which allowed them to assess their life, goals, and family impact.
I work in the STEM field, specifically in information technology. My industry was less affected than others because we already had the setup to work from home. The pandemic demonstrated that there is room to grow for other industries, to create more opportunities and redesign how they do business while allowing for telecommuting and different types of schedules. If a person has more balance in their life, it will show in the outcome of their work. Also, many companies would be able to minimize downtime by creating these new ways of running their business. Just because something has been done in a certain way historically, doesn’t mean it needs to continue in the same way forever.
What do you see as the unexpected positives in the pandemic? We would love to hear a few of your stories or examples.
As people were working from home, the pandemic forced some very traditional companies that never allowed telecommuting to look for ways to make it work. If something similar happens in the future, most companies will now be able to adjust a lot faster because they already have a backup plan implemented. Another positive from the pandemic is that people often re-evaluated what they were doing in their careers as well as the role they were playing in their family life. These days people are increasingly looking for job opportunities that offer more of a work-life balance. This should positively impact children growing up who have more visibility and involvement from their parents.
We’re all looking for answers about how to be successful now. Could you please share “5 Ways To Redefine Success Now?”
Over history and in today’s society, the meaning of success has been associated with having a lot of money and power. This definition places a lot of unnecessary stress on people, including young adults who feel they will never make it as according to society’s standards. Due to this, many are left feeling depressed, while some have even attempted suicide because they feel inadequate. This misleading definition of success has a negative impact on many who think they don’t have what it takes or that they are not welcome when it comes to what society or social media qualifies as success.
Success needs to be redefined as a measurement of self-fulfillment. How satisfied is each individual with their life? Are they living with purpose? Are they doing what they love doing? It’s not about how much money or power you have, but instead, what kind of individual you are and how you add value to yourself and those around you.
Success should be measured as a canvas where the individual has the freedom to be and become what is important to them in their heart. Not because of fear, culture, and other beliefs, but because being themselves gives a feeling of ownership and joy.
These are 5 ways to redefine success now.
- Self-Growth. Success is now defined as the achievement of self-growth, self-confidence, and awareness. This provides a sense of ownership of one’s choices and actions. It eliminates the feeling of being pressured to behave or attain things to show off to others, and to instead focus on understanding what really matters to each person.
- Maintain a curious mind. Success now, is defined by maintaining a curious mind to continue learning and growing in all meaningful areas while adding value to those around you. Success is not a destination. It is the sum of all of your parts and the balance and satisfaction you receive from all of them that will avoid future regrets.
- Be accountable for your outcome. Success now is defined by setting goals based on your wants and needs and taking consistent action to achieve them. It is what you become in terms of character and resilience when working towards your objectives.
- It is not where you are but how far you have come from your starting block. Real success cannot be inherited or gifted, it also can’t be taken away. Material things are life variables that can be lost at any time. If a person gets very attached to these tangibles, they will always live in fear of losing them. A person that has built success based on their character and mindset is prepared to recreate any loss because they have a clear awareness of the bigger picture and the things that hold the most value to them. The habits created by character building and goal setting, followed by actions to achieve them, create a life pattern for self-fulfillment, and any material lost can be re-created.
- Adding value to your life and others. Success is not determined by where you are today but by how far you are from your starting block in regards to internal and external growth, as well as life satisfaction and self-fulfillment. Success is adding value to your own life and that of others. It is lending a helping hand to those who need it because you understand that we’re all in this together and our actions create reactions.
Once you redefine success as discussed above, you will notice that success is no longer a destination. Instead, it will become a pattern of living a life of personal satisfaction and self-fulfillment, while also adding value to others.
How would our lives improve if we changed our definition of success?
Once everyone revises their definition of success, the world will change for the better in all ways. No one would feel the need to turn to social media for comparison, validation, or to show off. Instead, they will concentrate on finding their own life purpose and accomplishing the things that have real value to them. When a person feels self-fulfillment, they want the best for everyone around them, and they will do everything they can to help others succeed. This is an exciting feature of becoming truly successful; your self-fulfillment will continue to grow as those around you succeed.
What’s the biggest obstacle that stands in the way of our redefined success? And what advice would you offer about overcoming those obstacles?
The most significant obstacle in redefining success is the continuous comparison against what society characterizes as being successful, as well as the cultures and social media that promote social status and power as being the baseline of success. We are lucky to live in an era where technology makes everything so accessible; the downside is that with all of this data available in social media, it can support those with the tools to manipulate. We see this happening in all algorithms behind each social media platform. Manipulating data has become a great business for many who are planting the seeds for certain behaviors, wants, and expectations that otherwise some people, especially young adults, would not feel the need or pressure from.
To overcome these obstacles, we must go back to the basis, understanding that each individual has total freedom to decide their future based on their inner goals, core values, priorities, and life choices. We must promote the importance of individual self-development and internal growth as being just as essential as any other type of education or training.
We must set boundaries for those who try to manipulate others through intended and unintended targeting. And lastly, with training and education, we should support those struggling with financial hardship. The more access a person has to training and reliable information, the less likely they will feel pressure or be brainwashed by others.
Where do you go to look for inspiration and information about how to redefine success?
An individual’s success starts as an internal journey for each of us. It begins by understanding who you are and why, as well as where you want to go and why. Which friends you have today and why. What are you learning and aiming to become, and why. What do you do as your daily job or business, and why.
I’m always reading or listening to classes and learning new skills. The more you learn the more ideas you will generate. I highly recommend that you incorporate self-development books, videos, and documentaries as part of your daily routine, spending at least 15 minutes a day learning something new. There are different concepts of self-development, so you will need to find the one that speaks best to you.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He, she or they might just see this if we tag them.
Dolly Parton — not just because of all her talent in her singing career but because she is doing great work on helping kids get a better education, and in a way, she has been redefining what real success should be. Not only she has a greatly caring heart, but she takes action to empower others that need it. Dolly has added a lot of value to so many people In The United States and worldwide. I believe that if more people like Dolly in the world cared so much about empowering others by providing education, the repetitive cycle of poverty would stop.
I love everything about her. She is a great inspiration, and an example of what success really is.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
My website https://www.rosaantonini.com/about-the-author/
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rosa.l.antonini/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Author.LopezAnton/
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/rosaantonini/
Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@author.lopezanton
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this. We wish you continued success and good health.