When you think back to your happiest moments in life, what do you remember? They most likely are the moments and experiences you deliberately chose to live, doesn’t matter how big or small. They were choices and experiences you selected intentionally for yourself which you then decided to pursue with passion and determination. They perhaps were your inner thoughts telling you what you truly wanted.

We all have the same basic human needs, according to Tony Robbins. The need for certainty, variety, significance, love and connection, growth and contribution. Our needs are the same but each of us want to experience and live them differently depending on our core personality and character.  

I sat down with my friend Carla to discuss the need for variety which then turned into a conversation mostly about self-discovery. She is a brilliant woman with the determination of a cheetah. Carla comes from a family that highly believes in education and charity work. She spent most of her life volunteering in places like Guatemala and Ghana along with other causes she supported at her university. She spoke to me about a pivotal point in her life when she decided to embark on a journey of real self-discovery where the main intent of every trip she took was to get to know herself better. She explained that travelling alone really helped her uncover who she really was at the core. What she liked, didn’t want and most importantly what’s the vision she’s seeking to fulfill for her life.

Depending on the country, environment and the social circles you associate yourself with sometimes it becomes a challenge to truly understand yourself. Stepping away from the crowd and really tuning into your inner self can help you uncover who you really are. Carla embarked on several adventurous trips alone in her early twenties. She booked a last-minute trip to Peru and hiked up Machu Picchu where she met a ton of new people from different backgrounds. She explained that travelling alone makes you rely solely on yourself for planning, protection and forming new connections. Every conversation she had with people she met on her trips helped her see life from different angles. Seeing life from more than one perspective can help give you clarity in your own life.

Here are three tips Carla shared with me to help you on your journey to self-discovery:

1- Quit asking people around you for advice.

Girl! If you really want to know who you are, stop seeking approval and have the courage to listen to your inner desires by going out there and experiencing life on your own terms.

2- Stop doing what you don’t want to do.

Don’t be afraid to be honest about what doesn’t serve you. Self-discovery will help you better understand yourself and guide you towards fulfilling experiences that fuel your life.

3- Get intentional in your pursuits.

Whatever you choose to do, do it with a goal and mission in mind. Try not to go out into the world aimlessly without a goal. If you are going out to a networking event, know why. If you want to study a new topic, know why. Our time is limited on this earth and if you don’t live life with intention, you will waste your precious time.

Enjoy your journey whatever you do. Choose to live a life that sets your soul on fire and don’t forget to intentionally seek self-discovery.