I hear these comments often when I ask friends how often they spend time alone; without disruptions from anyone, without phone calls, messages and other social media distractions.
A common response is “I have back-to-back meetings. My business and children need me. There are a multitude of errands to do such as catching up with friends, groceries, gym and other life distractions. I am happy enough if I have the precious time to sleep in. I don’t need solitude. I don’t want to be wasting my life idle when there’s so much to achieve in 24 hours!”
Do any of these statements resonate? Are these one of your reasons for not taking time off to smell the coffee?
We always seem to run out of time, despite waking up early and rushing headlong into life. Why is it so hard to manage time and incorporate self-care rituals into our daily lives? Maybe you perceive self-care as being unproductive. What about endlessly scrolling through social media, is that productive? But most of us seem to have time for that daily.
We long to feel belonging and acceptance. Staying connected and active on social media has become a way some of us scale our self-worth and ‘popularity’. Do we place more value in online pursuits? Is getting more ‘likes’ on a post more valuable than how we actually feel about ourselves and our wellbeing?
Strange situation indeed. We are all glued to technological devices and seem increasingly devoid of actual human connection and most importantly, we are losing an essential connection to the whole self. Mind, Body, Soul.
Self-worth, to my understanding, is self-assurance, self-respect, and self-acceptance. When I am at a crossroads, either steering forward or self-sabotaging, I rely on backup qualities to put me back on track quickly. It is my proud reservoir of strength and goodwill. For example, for a while, I was discouraged when nobody signed up for my paid zoom sessions. I learnt that it takes time to build trust in my business, I am more than ready as a yoga therapist. I need to be patient.
Are you with me? Do you question your self-worth when expectation of self is not fulfilled as you planned?
Self-worth cannot be quantified. We spend money on personal development courses to advance our understanding of self and learning strategies to live life to our fullest potential. We want to live an abundant life and be prosperous and living a contented life, yet peace is elusive. The process of self-discovery is a learning journey, and it takes time and patience which many of us lack due to the demands of a hurried society.
Self-care compliments self-worth. It is the work in progress; feeding what is lacking in you. Put simply, you must invest the time and effort to care for your needs, genuinely and with self-honesty. It is up to you to take the initiative.
Treat yourself to a short break; do nothing but check in with your state of mind and breathing, releasing the need to be in control. Allow yourself permission to slow down and be alone. You are not attempting to find proof of your lack through discouraging feedback from others. Instead, you are choosing to improve your focus and relax on your own terms and in conditions you feel at ease. You own and are accountable for your life; it is nobody else’s business how you choose to spend your time. Period.
Here are my experiences with self-care that I’d like to share in the hope they may resonate for you:
Do not overthink.
Are you a thinker? Does your mind wander and conjure up scary stories? Read books that enrich your imagination and give you the courage to pursue your dreams.
My suggestions to get you started: The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy, Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, and Life Lessons from the Monk who sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma.
Be around like-minded people who share your dreams and want you to be successful and happy. Avoid energy vampires. Make sure you do the same in return. Trust me, when you are with the right people, feelings are reciprocal and you leave the encounter feeling energized, supported, and motivated.
Spend time to care for your health and wellbeing; it is vital for you and your family. Sparing the time to do nothing is to acknowledge yourself as a human being, and it encourages self-awareness and growth. Give yourself permission to go through all emotions as they arise.
You got this!
If you need permission to do so, you have mine!
Time off social media on the weekend is a necessary and healthy mental health requirement. It allows you to focus on you and your family – the most fundamental task in society (albeit a forgotten one). If there is anything urgent, you have messages and voicemails. If not, it can wait. Welcome home, stay connected with those you love, cherish above all.
We only get one chance, tomorrow is not guaranteed.
In this modern and demanding society we live in, we are constantly searching externally for recognition; it is exhausting and tough. I invite you to look inward and ask yourself if you are willing to challenge old habits. It does not matter how the world has shaped us or influenced us negatively, our reservoir of self-worth and self-care will get it right for us. I can firmly state with truth in my heart that I am living it every day.
And I wish nothing but the same for you. Self-care. Nothing more. Nothing less ❣️