I remember reading the opening of Danielle La Porte’s White Hot Truth and feeling like she was describing my life. 

I was doing everything I “should” be doing in terms of self care and spirituality but I felt like I had lost the connection with myself. My self-care list had become another of my to-do lists and I was finding myself stressed out that I was running late for yoga or I hadn’t completed 30 minutes of meditation. 

It was becoming another list to beat myself with when I hadn’t ticked everything off. when you are having a facial and lying there wondering if this will make you late for pilates surely you have lost the point? 

Danielle advised taking a breather from everything to reconnect with yourself and this is exactly what I did.

I stopped listening to all of the advice and the noise about what I “should” be doing. I started to do what felt right for me. Rather than schedule in time to do all the activities I scheduled my time for me, and then I decided that I would do whatever I wanted in that time. 

Sometimes I would go to yoga, other times I would drink a coffee and sit, other times I would have a lovely relaxing bath with candles. I found that I was drawn to spending a lot more time outside, reading and ironically doing a lot more yoga! 

Allowing myself to make choices in the moment rather than have a to-do list helped me tune into my body and my mind. It meant that I was listening to what I needed in that moment so I felt more energised and in flow. 

I stopped feeling bad if some days I didn’t want to exercise, or meditate. I ripped up my wellness goals and focused instead on feelings rather than quantifiable measures. 

My only constant was my journal – a habit that I have found allows me to make sense of what is going on in my brain.

Sometimes doing less is more, when your self care is part of the problem and its making you feel guilty and stressed think about how you are doing it and what is draining you.

When you are in tune with what your body and mind needs you will meet them. If something isn’t working out for you, even though every guru in the land tells you to do it recognise this and experiment with what is going to make a difference. 

When I have taken a freer approach to my self care it has felt more indulgent, more about me and has had great results for my business and my self. I am doing what feels good in the moment and am getting more sleep and feeling more relaxed than before. 

I also find that I am more productive. I get more done and I look forward to that time when I can choose exactly what I want to do. Some days it will be an afternoon, others a 30 minute window.

I highly recommend it. 


  • Ruth Kudzi

    MCC Coach, Trainer, Author and Speaker

    Kudzi Coach Acaedemy, Ruth Kudzi Coaching Ltd

    Ruth Kudzi is an award winning and highly acclaimed MCC coach with the ICF. She is the CEO of two businesses Kudzi Coach Academy where she trains people to become accredited and certified coaches and Ruth Kudzi Coaching Ltd where she helps coaches scale and grow their businesses. Ruth has a keen interest in Neuroscience and Psychology which she integrates into all of her work, she has over 27 years experience of study and education in this field including a BA and MA in Psychology and numerous qualifications. Through her work she helps her clients to embody success and examine how they can think and become happier as well as building businesses that work on their terms. Ruth is a best selling author and established podcaster she is committed to talking about issues that she views are important focusing on mental health, equality and diversity and social justice.