The greatest gift we can give ourselves is that of our own self. What matters most to us (or at least should matter most) is what we think of ourselves and how we cultivate healthy growth. The stories we tell ourselves are the ones that will make us or break us.

[Little trade secret]: When we talk about creating a mindset, we are talking about retraining the brain. The brain believes everything we tell it, everything we feed it, and everything we do to it.  Therefore, mindset becomes simply how we think. First, though, let’s dispel some rumors about the self.

Self-esteem is not selfish.

Self-preservation is not selfish.

Self-help is not selfish.

Each of these parts of the “self” must be cultivated though to become sufficient. The way we talk to ourselves is vitally important. Self-talk either leads to doubt or decision.


Self-doubt is limited only by our thoughts.

Self-talk is the hinge that opens and closes the door.

Self-sufficiency is attainable.

Self Doubt

One thing, if not THE ONE thing that keeps us from living a life we desire, from our brains working for us and not against us is the self-doubt we feed it. Doubt is crippling fear. For example, a healthy fear is being in a roller coaster as you’re climbing up and wanting to get off. Doubt is fear that stops us. On the roller coaster, you cannot stop and get off, however thinking “I can’t do…” whatever will stop us quick.

Being unsure about accomplishing a task, finishing a job, achieving a goal, or fill in the blank with whatever creates a doubt, that if left unchecked will cripple us.

Self Talk

The way through doubt can be encouraged by others, like a coach, a mentor, a parent, a spouse, or a friend, however it can ONLY be walked through by ourselves… by how we talk to ourselves.

There are three principles to self-talk that will encourage us to push through doubt. They are:

  1. Stop Lying
  2. Tell only the truth
  3. Hold yourself accountable

The first one seems simple. We all know that lying is inherently wrong, yet we still do. We tell ourselves we are not good enough [lie]. We say we cannot do something [lie].

Secondly, we need to tell only the truth. These can be ‘I am’ statements like “I am enough” or “I will do this” which can come through daily affirmational talks with ourselves, writing positive notes and placing them throughout our homes to remind us, or simply looking into the mirror and telling yourself ‘you got this.’

Accountability is what the self-talk hinge is made of. Accountability is taking ownership for who we are, what we do, how we do it, and most importantly, why we do it. If you have a desire to get healthy no one can work out for you or eat correctly for you, you must do it yourself.

We must do it ourselves, yet we don’t have to do it alone.

The beauty of mentorship, a tribe, a mastermind, whatever you want to call it, is… as we grow into personal accountability, we have the privilege of group accountability. We are not alone.

Self Sufficiency

Becoming self-sufficient does not mean we go it alone. It means that we have moved into a place where we can stand on our own, we are aware of when we need help, but most importantly that we have come to the knowledge that we are enough. Certainly, we have mentors, or faith, or a team around us to support us, but that we have the strength to stand and walk.

As you find yourself walking through circumstances, seasons, events, relationships, ask how you are showing up. The more we show up, the greater our sufficiency is. Share below your greatest self-sufficient moment.