1. How do I love myself?
2. How can I feel like I don’t need approval and validation from anyone else anymore?
THE ANSWERS
1. How do I love myself?
Love of Self is simply a view of Self. If you view yourself with a great deal of compassion, and suspend all judgment, then replace that judgment with understanding, and compassion, you will come closer and closer to love your authentic self.
So many people have taken on the views of others during their earlier years, and have not learned how to replace those views with the pure truth.
The way to do this is to immediately stop insulting yourself, cutting yourself down, and degrading yourself.
This is paramount! Instead of saying: “I stink at this” say: “I am doing my best, and that is all that is needed.”
You have to bring all of the small insulting lies that you tell yourself up to your conscious awareness.
Once you NOTICE what you are actually telling yourself, and if it is degrading, simply notice it without any judgment whatsoever, and then replace it with something more compassionate and understanding.
Speak to yourself the way you would to someone that you have great respect for.
Love for Self, and love for any other person comes from our views and perceptions. It is all within the mind. Our mind is governed by our thoughts. Our thoughts create our feelings. Our feelings urge us into action, and the cycle continues.
So in order to truly love yourself, you must change how you view yourself, and that can only be with complete compassion, care, respect, and honestly taking a conscious effort to change the verbal abuse you dish out to yourself when you are not even aware of it most of the time.
People that love themselves do NOT degrade themselves. I wouldn’t dare degrade YOU, so please immediately stop degrading yourself, and come to embrace your unique qualities. You chose those qualities and attributes for your unique contribution in this world.
Honor what makes you “different” because that is your unique Light that you are on this Earth to shine!
Treat yourself the way you wish someone else would treat you, and always give yourself a heartfelt hug for the sacred person that you are.
2. How can I feel like I don’t need approval and validation from anyone else anymore?
If you are going to base your sense of self worth on the changing views and perceptions of others, then it is like building a house on shifting sand.
Every person has the right to their own views and perceptions, and no one has the right to judge you.
It is solely your view of self that matters, because only you can live your truth!
You know what feels true for you inside and what does not. Another person cannot ever live your truth, or tell you what is true for you.
Once you start to honor what feels true for you in your heart, and simply go for it without even speaking about it to anyone else, you will come to feel a great measure of inner confidence that grows each time you honor what feels right to you in your heart – not your head, or your fears, but in your heart.
It takes practice, like anything else, and once you get used to honoring and following your own inner truth, you will no longer feel the need to receive validation and approval from anyone, ever.
© Copyright 2019 by Barbara Rose PhD. All Rights Reserved.