It seems though that in our relationships with others we tend to turn up needy. We seems to be needing others to constantly reminds us about things we often forget about ourselves .
We put so much pressure on them, to be all the things to us at all times so we can pick and chose what fancy us in the particular moment and to make us feel good – so we can continue to live in our handicampness of not loving ourselves enough or at all, as long there is someone to love us.
No wonder then why all breakups hurt so badly. On a post break up day — 
we need to start living with ourselves. We are forced to see, accept, hear, like, ourselves and even better love ourselves.

So, if being in love with someone is being in resonance with who you are; then being in SELF-LOVE is nothing else but being in deep resonance with yourself that comes from WITHIN — accepting yourself, loving and owning up your own deepest wants, needs and desires, your own flaws and imperfection, your own majestic messiness.

Without self — absorption and self- obsession.
Without neediness of constant confirmations, proves and approvals. Without abandonment of own truths and vanishment in the abyss of absurd and nonsense of borrowed assumptions.

SELF-LOVE means unapologetically loving and accepting yourself- without an anyone’s permission. It means dropping the disillusion that someone’s love will makes us feel whole and complete. That it will take a pain away from sore and bleeding scars. Sooner or later we need to meet ourselves and pay attention to our inner work. Only then our relationships with others become freeing and liberating. Only then we move from needing people to wanting them. Only then we become uninterested in people who supposed to complete us and search for those who complement us in the space on our own journey to Self-Love.

Kasia Jamroz CPCC, ACC, Founder of Alyka Solutions L.L.C, and 50 Deeds of Love Non -Profit Organization, believes in irresistible power of choice and living life congruent with our highest values. Thriving on depth, authenticity, true connection and mutual growth. Interested in togetherness and connectedness. Loving “what is” instead what it is supposed to be.

Originally published at