How can you fight something as powerful as your own brain? How can you overcome self-sabotage and get what you really want, whether it’s a new client, a new investor, an audience of raving fans, or something else?
Short answer: You can’t. Don’t even try. You can’t fight your brain.
But you CAN befriend it.
That’s how you convince it to work for you instead of against you.
I used to sabotage myself and my business. Taking on more work than I could handle, trying to solve problems by working hard instead of smart.
Prioritizing business growth over personal growth because I didn’t understand that they’re the same thing.
Burning myself out over things I didn’t actually care about because I was chasing the short-term satisfaction of checking a box instead of the long-term satisfaction of creating the life I wanted.
It wasn’t until I put my own personal growth before my business’ growth that I understood how to build a business and life that makes me happy. It wasn’t until I decided to stop fighting myself and made peace with my inner critic that I was able to walk away from self-sabotage.
But once I figured that out? Everything got much easier.
So if your brain lies to you to keep you safe, then you need to convince it that you’re already safe. That lying isn’t necessary. That you know what you’re doing, and you have your brain’s best interests at heart even as you pursue your big, scary business goals.
That’s how you stop the cycle of self-sabotage. That’s how you step into all your human potential and achieve incredible things. That’s how you grow your business by leaps and bounds in no time. By getting your brain on your side.
Step One: Identify Self-Sabotaging Thought Patterns
Look; personal growth is scary. And your ego will make every effort it can to try to stop you from changing things. That’s why your ego will come up with lame excuses to keep you stuck where you are.
Also called limiting beliefs, this is a state of mind or conviction that you think limits you in some way.
Examples of limiting beliefs can look like,
“I’m not great at marketing.”
“I’m a horrible salesperson.”
“I’ve tried everything to achieve ‘X’ but nothing works.”
I hear limiting beliefs like these every. single. day. from smart, motivated people with great ideas.
My challenge to you is to grab a journal and for one week (or a few days at the very least), keep track of all the ways you self-sabotage that come into your head – all the negative thoughts about your business or yourself.
Then ask yourself, how are these negative thoughts or self-talk preventing me from reaching my desired goals and objectives? How did I come to develop this limiting belief?
Step Two: Overwrite those patterns with positive affirmations
When you start challenging your old thinking patterns, when you start shifting out of self-sabotage, it becomes easier to sustain that momentum.
It all starts by asking yourself how the thoughts you hold are serving you in your life and business? Are there any good intentions that the particular belief provides? What would happen if you were to reframe the negative thought with something more positive and constructive?
I have developed a habit of writing positive affirmations about myself and my business in a journal throughout the week. On the days when I don’t feel the pull to write in my journal, I stand in front of my mirror and vocalize some positive statements while looking at myself.
Step Three: Create a story that empowers you to achieve the things that matter to you – even if you don’t feel like you have what it takes to be a “businessperson”.
What would future you do? What decision is your future self urging you to make? That’s the central question you need to be asking yourself to guide your growth and create the life you want.
Start by getting clear on your personal values and then write a story that puts you in the driver’s seat, able to navigate all of life’s twists and turns.
Ask yourself, how can I make this work? What if I tried…? Who do I need to align myself with in order to make this work?
I know firsthand what’s possible when self-sabotage ends and self-improvement begins.
More money. More joy. More fun. More growth. More alignment with my true calling. Challenges seem easier. Changes seem more manageable. Better results faster and with less effort.
All because I learned how to stop fighting myself and just let my goals and desires be.
Now, my efforts are focused on how to provide the most value to my clients while being authentic. I have systems in place to help keep me on track with the activities that matter the most. I only focus on the work that is aligned with my personal values and long-term goals.
Because of this, new and exciting opportunities are consistently coming my way and people seek out my services so I can help them create changes in their own lives and businesses.