A big part of my work with my clients is around clarity:
- Clarity on what their values and priorities are.
- Clarity on what their passions and strengths are.
- Clarity on what they want to do next in their career.
When I first start working with new clients, we look at their inner scripts and dialogues—what are they saying to themselves? The single word I hear over and over and over and over from clients is…“should.”
- I should update my resume.
- I should refresh my LinkedIn profile.
- I should go to that networking event.
- I should follow-up with past colleagues.
- I should be more positive.
Have you ever thought what the word, “should,” actually means? It literally means to “indicate what is probable.” Probable isn’t something that’s actually happening. Which means, probable isn’t reality and is outside our current control. And there’s also a nasty negative undertone: “should” implies you are wrong, bad, and inadequate. I’ve found personally and professionally that “should” will get you nowhere. It’s a heavy word that makes me want to slouch over and crawl in bed when the sun’s out.
Nothing good ever comes from “should”…but change is positive and wanting to improve ourselves, our lives, and our work is critical to growth. So, try this simple and effective technique: anytime you start to say or think “should”…replace it with “GET”.
- I get to update my resume.
- I get to refresh my LinkedIn profile.
- I get to go to that networking event.
- I get to follow-up with past colleagues.
- I get to be more positive.
This small word and small change can yield incredible results. Words are powerful and the energy you get from using powerful, positive works will make you feel stronger, lighter, and happier. It is completely within your control to chase away dread and heaviness and replace it with possibility and opportunity.
My challenge for you today—and the rest of this year as you start to make and refine goals—is to start replacing “should” with “get” and watch your mood lift and capacity to change gain momentum.