#1 Let go of perfect and embrace ‘good enough’
Some people spend their whole lives trying to achieve perfection. But perfection is a myth. When you accept that and stop striving for it, you will hopefully realise that ‘good enough’ will serve you – and those around you – just fine.
#2 Break it down – into manageable chunks
All goals can seem overwhelming when taken as a whole. To overcome this, Sallee Poinsette-Nash suggests imagining your life goals set out on a ruler. What does 1cm from where you currently are look like? What will it take to get there? Aim for that. And don’t start thinking (and worrying!) about 2cm until you have reached it.
#3 The reframing game
Sometimes it helps to take a step back and look at things in a different way. Try writing down all the thoughts you have that no longer serve you. Then, taking each in turn, write beside it a new and more positive way of looking at the situation. Revisit this list often, taking time to examine how it makes you feel when you read the reframed versions.
#4 Don’t look back in anger – appreciate how far you’ve already come (1cm in reverse)
Everyone experiences moments of despondency in the quest for self-fulfilment. The important thing is not to let such moments throw you off track. Next time you have a wobble, take some time to reflect on how far you have already come. Celebrate the milestones that you’ve achieved on the journey to where you are now. If it helps, write them on Post-It notes and put them up around the house. Think of it as 1cm in reverse – how many centimetres have you already moved along your life goal ruler?
#5 Don’t compare – celebrate your uniqueness!
Comparison is the biggest killer of achievement. Don’t let other people’s achievements overshadow your own, or make you doubt your own worth. Each of us is unique, and that uniqueness should be celebrated. Try taking the VIA Strengths test to help you evaluate your top strengths, and consider ways in which you can play to them in 2020.
#6 Find your tribe to find your vibe
This one should be a no-brainer, but it can be surprisingly hard to eliminate the toxic influences in our lives and cultivate the nourishing ones. In short: Aim to spend more time with your cheerleaders and less time with your critics. It won’t take long for the positive benefits to start showing (and the toxic influences to start fading away…).
#7 Silence your inner critic – watch the PITS!
If you ever find yourself saying that you really “should” do this, or that you “always” do that, you’ve had a Performance Inhibiting Thought (PIT). Watch the way you speak to yourself and try to do it more gently and considerately. Treat yourself as a friend and not an enemy – try replacing “should” with “could” and “always” with “sometimes” and see how it makes you feel.
#8 Be grateful
Taking time to consider what we are grateful for in life helps focus our attention on the good, which positively impacts us and those around us. Try keeping a gratitude journal for two weeks: At the end of each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. You might find at the end of the two weeks you feel so good you want to keep it up…
#9 Be kind – to yourself and to others
Want to be happier? Spend a week carrying out five random acts of kindness every day and see how it boosts your own mood as well as those around you. And don’t forget to be kind to yourself too – choose an activity to do at the end of each day that makes you feel relaxed and happy, whether it be meditation, a good book or a long soak in a bubble bath surrounded by scented candles. After all that giving back, you deserve it!
#10 Try the best possible year exercise
Visualise the end of 2020 and what you want to have achieved. Write it down in as much detail as you can and revisit it regularly to keep you on track to achieving it. You’ve got this!