Life is unfair from the beginning. It’s not our choice to wake up in this tiny dot nor our choice to sleep forever. But, we have two choices at will, either we choose to live the life started for us or end this life to death. We all know that it is The Almighty Creator who lends our life and also the one who will take it back very soon. So, while it is on us, we are given by him a will, now it’s up to us on how to live it. Life is also fair because everyone dies, everyone cries, everyone feels pain, everyone suffers, and everyone experiences each own struggles. No one hasn’t experienced pain, none hasn’t live at the age of 1000, none has been happy since s/he was born, and none hasn’t lived without problems. Life is fair!

Now, I want to share my story but before that, I want to ask a question, “Had it ever happened to you that you almost want to end your life?”. Well, in fact, you’re not alone!

I grown up in a country and our culture influenced me too much. This moral belief in our country created a dangerous trouble in me which urged me to end my life. The belief is not a big deal but it happens a big deal for me when I broke that moral belief. I found that event so terrible, I felt guilty and sorry for myself. I felt like my life was already lost. It occurred to happen that I felt like I was walking without a head to show up, I was full of shame! I was sad everyday. I incessantly cried everyday and night, I didn’t show up in my classes for the whole day, I was also always late every morning, I was not focused with my studies, I got lost! My performance at school was so poor and everyone was wondering how could an intelligent and outstanding student became stupid. I was also getting thinner and thinner. How pathetic I was! But, I didn’t cut my thread of life because I believe that was all temporary, I can overcome them, and the sun will come out very soon.

How the story ends? It ends this way, the sun came out and I thought the storm is totally gone but I was wrong, it has no end. The truth, it keeps on haunting me and every moment this happens, the choice I was supposed to take is keep on whispering back to me, it says “ just die, just die, go die to end those pains”. While thinking of it, I analyzed the consequences of each side. If I die, (tadaaa!) everything will end. If I live, I continue to suffer. It’s better to end everything, right?

However, I came up with this realization, If I aggressively end my life, nothing matters to me anymore and I’m not connected to the world anymore except to the soil of this Earth where my grave is located (lol).

On the other hand, If I just let to live, things possibly be the same, only by having the same thought of being dead like “Nothing matters to me anymore!”.

Now, obviously, I chose to live and I chose to live my life the way I wanted until the day my Almighty Creator get back this life he lends on me.

Cheers! I want to literally end this story by saying,