A few weeks, months, years. How long does it truly take to be emotionally ready for a new love? Is the thought of dating post-break-up as terrifying to you as it was for me? How does a newly single person know that they are ready for a relationship? If you are asking yourself these and other similar questions, chances are you are contemplating dating again. Hopefully, this text will give you a few answers as well as help you along the way. 

What is “Readiness”

The actual readiness for a new relationship is up for debate. To some, it doesn’t even exist. “I’m not ready for a relationship” gets thrown around far too often, and people tend to forget its true meaning. I’ll be honest, I have said it in the past without truly thinking of the consequences of that phrase. 

Eight months after my serious relationship ended, I thought I was ready to start dating again. But, then the pandemic hit. The world became a different place, and my dating life had to go in a new direction. Since my options were suddenly limited to online dating, I had to start looking at what it truly was that I wanted from a new relationship. 

A huge wake-up call for me was the actual idea of looking for a partner again. The thought of being with someone new excited me. It was a sure sign that I was ready to set up a dating profile and jump into the dating pool headfirst.

Deciding What You Want

It may be easier said than done, but deciding on what it is that you want out of a relationship is the first sign of being ready to meet someone new. Dating on the internet has its perks. It is a bit easier than meeting someone at a bar or in person. You are the boss of your profile, quite frankly, you are in control of the message you are sending.

Let Go of the Past

That new start, however, needs to come at a time when you are truly ready. There are so many factors at play when it comes to “readiness”. Think about how committed the partners were, whether the actual relationship was healthy, if the couple split into good terms, and so on. If you hear someone say they aren’t ready for a relationship, that does not mean that person is avoiding commitment, they simply need to come to terms with their past. 

It is important to recognize that all of us have a past. Some of us even have exes that are great friends, and that is okay. The truth is, as long as the past is in the past, and you are not at a spot where your ex is the center of the universe – seeking a new relationship is a great idea. 

Communication is Key 

This is a no-brainer, but if you are entering a new phase of your love life, it is an important message to keep in mind. Healthy relationships are built on a strong foundation, and that is excellent communication. It is crucial to communicate with your new partner, to be open and honest about your experiences, thoughts and even fears when it comes to love. 

Personally, I am at a stage in my life where I do not want to get married. It seems that I am not alone in this, according to Pew Research Center more Americans choose to live with their partner rather than get married. So, set out your relationship goals well ahead of time. You don’t want to get super serious and find out that your partner thinks the complete opposite. 

That said, being a part of a couple requires compromise. You have to be willing to stand up for what you believe in, but also make way for your partner’s opinions. So, if you are the kind of person that prefers to always be right, and stick to your guns, you probably have to take a step back and reconsider your “readiness” for a new relationship. 

Relationships take a lot of work and effort. Your emotional and mental state play the most important role in finding the one. If you pay close attention to your needs and wants, you are definitely going down the right path to finding a compatible partner.