The older I get, the more I realize how important self-awareness is. With self-awareness, leaders are conscious of their choices and take responsibility for them. Without it, anything goes. That’s when companies lose focus or get way off track. Authenticity and vulnerability take a back seat to arrogance and greed.

Self-awareness is necessary for your values and actions to be in alignment. Yet, to really know yourself is a lifelong endeavor and not always pleasant. You may not like part of who or what you are. That’s natural. Once you acknowledge your imperfections, you can begin to change for the better, and with your thoughts, words, and actions all in alignment with you. 

Start by asking yourself these questions to establish a baseline for your current self-awareness. Then keep reading for ideas to increase self-awareness and grow as an Amare love-based leader.

  • How well do you know yourself?
  • How well would others say you know yourself? (Ask!)
  • Does your company value and encourage self-awareness?
  • Do you knowingly connect your choices and your values?

Six Amare Ways for Increasing Self-Awareness

1. Tune in. First get quiet with breathing exercises. Then simply pay  attention to how you react to things, especially what triggers you and what pacifies you. No judgement please.

2. Assess values. List your core values. With compassion, gauge how well you live by them in your work and life. Consider making this alignment assessment a daily practice. 

3. Notice discrepancies. Monitor your thoughts, emotions, and reactions on a regular basis, with the intent of self-improvement  (and without becoming narcissistic!). 

4. Get feedback. Ask trusted colleagues about when you seem most self-aware and when you don’t. Look for patterns and any relationship to company values and culture.

5. Review big decisions. Get with your leadership team and explore how self-aware you all were and if you voiced what was true for you. Be sure there is psychological safety for being honest.  

6. Dive deeper. Read chapter seven in my book, The Amare Wave: Uplifting Business by Putting Love to Work, about self-awareness and alignment. Complete all the “Mirror” exercises there, if you haven’t already. If you resist doing that, get to know that part of yourself too. And check out the myriad of resources online on self-awareness.

As you work to increase your self-awareness, do a daily check-in to see if you are living in line with your priorities and values, and doing what you said you would do. If you find yourself straying from the path, call it out so others will know it’s okay (you are human!) – and fixable. Correct yourself, but be gentle. Improving oneself is a lifelong occupation, not an end goal to be reached.

Today’s Amare Wave Wednesday Quote

“There are three things extremely hard—steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”

―Benjamin Franklin


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To learn more about the Amare Way movement, the book The Amare Wave, or my Amare executive coaching services, visit