Are you losing you in your relationship?
Let’s say you are moving into a new apartment, townhouse, or house. You finally saved enough to buy a residence that has spare rooms. You have your room, your kids room, a guest room, an office, a gym, and a spare room. This spare room can be anything you want it to be. So what would you make the spare room?
Some people get so lost in their relationship that they lose sight of who they are and what they want. Sometimes it is because they are so happy by their newfound love that they just shift their focus off from hobbies and him or herself to their relationship. But when the hype and high of the relationship dies down, who are you? And what would you put in your spare room?
It seems like such a simple question, like such an easy task. But this is more than a room. It is your own personal space in which you have complete freedom and control over. Put the money aside and throw caution to the wind. This room is about you. Not about something productive, not about something for your kids, or something to do with your boyfriend/girlfriend. It is about the room that you escape to when the tide turns and you need a quiet moment or minute or day. It is about a relief from the stress of life and responsibilities. It is all about you.
This room should give you optimal happiness. It should be the perfect representation of who you are and/or want to be. Something to strive for. But if you can’t fill this room, then you need to readjust your lens on life because it is out of focus.
Not everything in your life has to be connected to another being. It shouldn’t be. You are not a part of a whole, you are the whole. I know your significant other is in a way your other half, but don’t think of it like that. Think of your significant other as the other pea in your pod, not the other half to your whole. Relationships are all about balance and creating that equilibrium between who you are and who you and your lover are together. You should better each other not envelop each other. Because if you become the same person, you are not becoming one in the same. You are inevitably suffocating another, separate and independent self.
So save your relationship and help your love thrive, by taking a break from each other. By taking a breath. Step back and take a look at the love you are creating and try not to forget to love yourself. I know this article is a web of inspirational and cliche quotes that are stitched on pillows and painted on signs, but they are cliche for a reason. They’re true. Don’t find another half to your whole, find another pea in your pod.
So tell me… what will you make in your spare room?
Originally published at medium.com