Is it the magician or the wand?

Wayne Dyer said “Don’t die with the music inside”. I say “stay in the magic” and you won’t be able to stop listening to the music inside!

I participate in family constellation work. It’s facinating. An experience that is hard to describe and even if I did in detail, it may be hard to know what it could feel like to participate in such an event. Here goes my brief explanation:

Someone has an issue/problem that they want resolved — could be anyting from wanting to heal a realtionship with a parent, disolving a block about making money, finding a soulmate, etc. The trained facilitator creates what is called a “knowing field” which consists of untrained participants doing a brief meditation in a circle. Once ‘the wish’ is expressed to the group, the person wanting resolution asks the untrained participants to represent instrumental people in their lives, typically starting with their mother and father. Then it gets really interesting….

These untrained participants representing the important people in the persons life are asked to ‘follow their movements’. Which basically means — don’t think about anything, just feel. Just follow wherever your body wants to go in the room, if it wants to sit, stand or some other variation and allow whatever feelings to flow that come to you. Without questioning any why’s. It’s amazing what takes place.

The first time I was called into a constellation I played someone’s grandfather and found myself crying from the depths of my soul while screaming “I am so angry”. I, Beth Bell, was not angry but the energy of the soul coming through me certainly was and it was weird.

I didn’t have any training or even knowlege of what goes on in these types of sessions so how was it that I could channel this guy? I could see so much of the story lines of this point in time in his life. What he was feeling and thinking even though I’d never met this person or knew anything about his story.

I never wanted to channel dead people but that day my life changed and now I wanted to experience more. Why? because for the first time in my life I could experience an emotion at a cellular level because it wasn’t mine. I had no blocks or programming that would stop me from experiencing an emotion at a moments notice. What was even wackier is how quickly the emotion and sometimes images or thoughts would drop in. When I shared information I was receiving with the group, inevitably the information would start to fill in the story lines for the observer, helping to resolve the energy around the issue they were experiencing.

I can’t tell you how many times the person who’s bringing the concern to the constellation had their jaw on the floor with what their loved ones had to say. What was stunning is that even though I was participating in a session that wasn’t MY issue, it always seemed to heal me in some way. Often times during the actual session but also the days following. That’s exactly what happened in the last session I attended.

The parents were already chosen and playing out their story lines as I watched with curiosity. Then all of a sudden, I was ‘in’ the constellation. How did I know? Because I could feel this energy in my body coming on strong. I had felt it before so I knew exactly what it was… I was a channeling a child, the sibling of the lady we were doing the session for. I was quite young and super excited about life. Within a few minutes which felt perfectly on cue, the facilitator asked her to choose someone to play her sibling. When she turned to look at the group to choose someone, our eyes immediately locked and without question, I said ‘yes’. Athough the facilitator asked the participant to place me in the room, I said ‘no, I know exactly where to go’.

I’d envisioned myself outside the glass window looking inside the room, so I went there. Peering in through the glass I was waving and jumping with child like excitement almost uncontrollably. Smiling at the participants that were playing out the characters of my mom, my sister (the one observing her own constellation), and her childhood friend she was playing with in that particular moment. I watched them with great love and anticipation for whatever would happen next as though I was watching them play in the backyard together. You know, the magic of the child who has no expectations and moves from one thing to another following whatever brings them happinesss.

Boom! All of a sudden my excitement was gone and I had a very heavy feeling. I fell to my knees as I peered through the window. When the facilitator looked at me I blurted out “A very bad accident has happened”. You could have heard a pin drop in the room and then the woman who was observing her own family being played out before her eyes, burst into tears.

There were many siblings but in this moment she looked at me, we locked eyes again and she said “I know who you are”. I wondered in momentary anticipation before her words came out “you are my sister who committed suicide”. Wow, that was heavy. I, Beth Bell, didn’t see that coming. I was just there as a channel to express the feelings and movements of her sister but in that moment I wasn’t ready for this to be disclosed.

I sat there channeling her sister and experiencing ‘awe’ at my own death almost as though I didn’t realize I was gone. But by her suggestion, I knew it was true. I was no longer with the others on the other side of that glass window that I earlier had felt called to be placed behind. Now I knew it represented me not being in the room meant I wasn’t on the planet.

She briefly said to the group through her tears that I had committed suicide and left behind 2 young children. You could see the pain in her face when she starred right at me and said “WHY did you do it? HOW could you leave these children?”. I, Beth Bell, felt a little stunned as the observer. Then she walked over to me and I heard myself say to her through the tears of her sister that started squirting out of my eyes “I lost the magic and I couldn’t get it back, I didn’t know how to get it back”.

In that moment I felt the darkest place and space that people feel just before they are ready to exit the earth plane. There literally felt like ‘no way out’. I couldn’t see the light, I couldn’t even feel for the two people who were standing in as my children. I was completely numb. The energy, the magic that I had moments before experienced through my inner child was nowhere to be found and I had no way of knowing how to get it back.

I personally haven’t struggled with suicidal ideations so this felt unreal to me. The faciliator did her healing work with the group — which is a whole other story — and we finished up the session all feeling a tremendous shift and healing for the great loss that had been suffered.

After these channeling sessions we ask the spirits to leave us and go back to the light where they belong. Some saging is done to faciliate more cleansing from the energy that we represent while channeling the souls who choose to participate. I thought I was fine and went about my day.

However, I kept feeling these haunting feelings and when I did the message kept surfacing ‘Stay in the Magic’. It took me a few days to really shake off the feelings that would pop back in about ‘the magic is gone and I don’t know how to get it back”. I started to realize my outside world was reflecting what it would be like to experience this emptiness. Random people would approach me and it was evident that their magic was diminished.

I found myself sharing the story with several people in the following days. The message resonated with everyone that I shared it with whether or not they were suffering depression or not. Everybody could identify with dark moments in their life and the feelings of hopelessness.

It made me ponder with some excitement if in fact it could be THAT easy to just bring the magic back. A simple, yet profound message. How could I help shift others who couldn’t find any magic? If only I could just pass out wands to everyone!

It became clear that the magic is only a thought away and is based in gratefulness. Abraham (Esther) Hicks is always reminding us to start with the small things like clean air, water, green grass beautiful butterflies and colors of the flowers blooming before us. It’s an effective technique and it can feel like it takes some work but once you start, the momentum builds and doesn’t have to stop.

I became so grateful for this unexpected message to “STAY IN THE MAGIC!” as it was a message that not only I needed to hear but many others. If you don’t know how or are having trouble shifting your thoughts, go to a playground and watch the children. Despite what your ego mind might think, it doesn’t take money to have fun. Only a thought and an idea that you are the creator of your life and that there’s a Universe out there always ready to support you.

Please note that the intent of this article is not to lighten the severity or impact of depression or any of the emotions one may be suffering. It’s mearly a reminder that the magic is all around us and we always have a choice to shift our energy into thoughts that vibrate at a higher level, raising us up to the light. Seeking professional help to guide one through dark times is recommended as we’re not called to go this journey alone. My mission is to assist in “Pollinating the Planet with Love”. I hope you’ll join me?

With bliss and love from Bali, BB

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