With Valentine’s Day almost upon us it’s important to note that your partner deserves a wildly romantic time no matter how busy or caught up in your work, kids or other responsibilities that you may be.

Let’s face it, a fun, relaxing Valentine’s Day celebration can be a tall order, what with all of your appointments and obligations. Still, it can be done, and done well. I’m going to give you a few tips on ways to make Valentine’s Day a special and unforgettable event. 

Here is a clear cut way to make it all happen. All it takes is some commitment on the part of you both and a willingness to give yourselves over to the idea. Remember that romance is not about a sexual encounter being the goal of your Valentine’s romance, it may be a by-product and that’s okay, but make sure that your goal instead is to make your partner feel loved, cherished, important and valued. One of the most romantic things that you can do for your partner is to give them your undivided attention without any agenda other than making them feel great.

Step 1: Agree on a date and time: It doesn’t have to be ON Valentine’s Day but near as you can both get to commemorate your romantic encounter. Clear both your calendars and make arrangements for childcare (overnight if possible to leave your evening open). 

Step 2: Decide where and when to go. This is negotiable and you want your partner’s input. Nothing would be worse than for you to make detailed arrangements for something you want to do with your partner then to find out they’re just not all that excited about it. Hopefully, you’ve been paying attention to them and listening when they say “Oh I’d love to do ________” Fill in that blank and have all the pertinent information on logistics and cost at your fingertips so that you can answer any and all questions your partner may have. 

Step 3: Make reservations for everything. Make sure that all the meals, travel costs, hotel and any incidentals are completely covered. You don’t want any glitches. Inform your partner what time you’re leaving, what to pack and what shoes, outerwear and other items will be needed. Make it easy for them by handling all the arrangements so that all they have to do is show up packed and ready at a certain time. 

Step 4: Have a contingency plan. You never know what can happen and things out of your control may cause a change in plan. You won’t let that ruin your good time because you’ll have a Plan B if weather or other issues throw a monkey wrench in your plans. 

Step 5: Go have fun! Check in with your partner every step of the way and make sure you’re sensitive to their level of enjoyment. If they’re not having a good time, see plan B. 

Step 6: Document the occasion with photos and souvenirs. Have a blast and make it all about your partner and the two of you having a wonderful time together.  Make sure your partner knows that this excursion is all about you showing them how much they mean to you and you wanting to give them a wonderful romantic time. Include a few thoughtful and loving gifts to cement your point. 

Have a very happy Valentine’s Day, from The Couples Expert.


  • Stuart Fensterheim

    Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW

    The Couples Expert

    Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. His weekend workshop, Two Days: Seven Conversations has become a popular venue for many to set off on their journey of connectedness. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.