You can quite literally be anything or whoever you want to be. The door is wide f!cking open.
So why do so many of us, myself included, still feel the need to please others? Why does the opinion of others have the potential to hit us like a ton of bricks? Why? WHY DO WE CARE SO MUCH? I don’t know about you but I’m 29 years old and still navigating through so many different aspects of life. In a society where we are pressured to constantly feel like we should have it all together, it’s hard not to listen to the voice inside our head that whispers but what will others think?
Depending on the person you ask, I think it would be fair to say that you would receive a variety of different responses. Some people are born people pleasers, while others focus too much on outside opinions due to self-consciousness. Then, you have the people on the opposite end of the spectrum. Those that seem to be oozing of confidence and unbreakable thick skin. How does one find balance in between all of that?!
I can’t say that I’m in a point in my life that I give zero f*cks because I think caring is powerful. Actually, if we are being honest, I give a lot of f*cks. But only about the things and people that bring and or add value and purpose to my life. I believe that we should guard our time, energy, and love for those things, places and people that sprinkle magic in our lives.
If you’re constantly caught up in caring too much and your sensitive heart is getting hurt every 12 seconds, here are a few tips from personal experience that have thickened my skin and helped to prioritize my focus.
Shake it like a salt shaker
We’ve all heard the saying so repeat after me, take it with a grain of salt. Imagine if we took every single word that was ever directed towards us to heart. WOW – that would be an awful way to spend our precious time on this earth. With endless opinions, ideology’s and judgements swirling around in the world, it can be so easy to get instantly weighed down by words from another’s mouth. It can be hard to deflect opinions and judgements of others but when you sit down to tend to your wound, know that their words are a reflection of that person’s experiences and lifestyle and not necessarily a direct reflection of you. So, shake it like a salt shaker and move on with your day.
Preach it sista
Say it louder for the babes in the back! Speaking your truth is one of the most powerful things you can do. Whether in discussions with friends, family or coworkers who voice a separate opinion then your own; don’t feel the need to back down. Gracefully and respectfully speak your mind just as they are doing. Showing others that you are unapologetically yourself will not only be a freeing feeling but will also make it known that you value your voice and the right to use it.
Take a minute
Feeling lost within your own thoughts, most of the time, comes from a place of not being confident in your viewpoint or personal opinion. This is the prime opportunity to take a personal timeout. Sit down and indulge in self-reflection until you recognize what aspects are most important to you and align with your values. Finding what makes you tick will make you feel secure in voicing your unique outlook.
Keep it to yourself
Knowing the time and place to express certain opinions is key to social survival. Before you walk into a social setting, family dinner or work meeting – understanding your audience will get you farther than you may think. Unless you’re in the mood to stir sh*t up and walk into a space ready to word vomit and start arguments, I would suggest tapping into your audience before opening your mouth. Sometimes, it’s better to mind your own business then to step out of line if there is a potential serious consequence waiting for you on the other side.
Now I know that there is someone on the other side of the screen with smoke coming out of their ears thinking, I can’t believe she is telling me to dull my voice. If you know me well enough, you would know that is absolutely not what I’m saying. However, I do believe it takes a mature and smart person to recognize if their opinion is going to drop an unnecessary bomb or not.
What are your thoughts?
How have you matured to value your own opinions?
Originally published on The Millennial Miss.
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