I don’t struggle with food anymore.
I don’t binge eat; worrying about my weight no longer drains my emotional and mental energy.
I have whatever I choose to eat — including pizza, ice cream or kale — and I stop when I’m full.
When I eat beyond fullness, I move on with my life. I don’t stay stuck.
I now know that being healthy does not mean eating perfectly.
Food ceased to be my way to escape pain, loneliness, anger, anxiety or frustration, but my life is not free from these uncomfortable emotions.
After all, strong emotions are part of our contract with life, as PhD in psychology Susan David says.
I learned that food is a poor antidote to cope with strong emotions. It didn’t make me feel any better.
What worked? Inquiry. I tried to understand what I was feeling, and why.
If we don’t inquire about why we feel guilty about that second slice of pizza; why we are angry when our partner does not answer our call; or why we are anxious about setting boundaries at work, these circumstances will continue to unleash not-so-wise reactions in ourselves.
Buddha referred to the two darts of suffering to illustrate this idea. The first dart that hits us is the experience itself. The second dart — the one that hurts and gives rise to strong emotions — is the stories we create and believe about the experience.
We must dig and inquire to change the mental maps that determine our habits and behaviors.
We’re either trying to pro-actively understand our emotions, or passively accepting the (often negative) stories those emotions evoke.
Inquiry is the first step towards the change we want to create in any area of our lives. Without it, we cannot be free from our habitual reactiveness.
My intention in 2020 (I don’t like resolutions), is to continue practicing inquiry, to stay with the emotions for a brief time, and question the stories.
In 2020, do you want to overcome the stories that trigger your fight with food?
I help women get to the root of their issues with food in my 8-week group Food Sanity Program as well as individual coaching. I teach women the daily practical tools they need to understand their behaviors, and to find gusto in eating again.
Take advantage of this offer. It only happens once a year.
Use code “foodsanity2020” at checkout to get 20% off my 8 and 12-session individual coaching packs*.
Use code “foodsanity2020” when you enroll for the Food Sanity Program** and get 20% off.
Happy New Year!
This offer is valid until December 31st at midnight.
*In English & español; in the US or Latin America.
**Only in English; for women based in Washington D.C.
Written by Lina Salazar.