Disclaimer: All information, data and material contained, presented, or provided on this post is written from my first hand experiences of mental illness from loved ones. It is not to be construed or intended as providing medical or legal advice. Decisions you make about your family’s healthcare are important and should be made in consultation with a competent medical professional. I’m not a physician and do not claim to be.
A question was asked if they would be missed if they passed away by suicide.
I wrote this deep message/story/poem as my response. I never wrote anything like this before until now.
Yes someone would miss you. Someone in the world will miss you. If you pass away, we’ll never know what you will grow into. The sun wouldn’t shine as bright if you weren’t around.
Imagine someone discovering you. This someone could be a friend, your mother, your father, your sister, your cousin walking into a room, and seeing your lifeless body. Imagine who would find you first. Imagine what will happen when they find you. Imagine them shaking you trying to wake you up. They will feel a pain that they can’t put into words. They will cry in agony. They will scream in horror, saying no no no. They will have to call 991, declare you dead at the the scene, then sign a death certificate. Then they will have to visit you at the morgue to face this reality of you being gone. Your parents will have to tell others of your passing. Then they will have to go through your belongings, pick out clothes for you to wear. They will have to pick a head stone, a casket, pick out flower arrangements, and make additional funeral arrangements; people will ask them what happened and why. They had so much life ahead of them. Why? They will break down and not able to process what is happening in the moment. They will feel that pain until the day they die, it won’t go away in a few days or even a few years. Everyday will be more hurtful than a heartbreak hotel.
Think of your friends telling other friends about your death. Opening up that email to read that you passed away. Seeing it all over Facebook that you are gone, with all the RIP statuses. That the details of the funeral will be coming soon. Think of your family, burying you. Your parents and loved ones are planning your funeral. Parents shouldn’t be burying children, but it’s happening.
During the wake, family and friends will gather still in complete shock still not believing you are gone. They will not say, they are gone. They will not say I’m happy they took their life. They will not say that life is better without you. The people that you claimed ignored you, didn’t love you or didn’t care about you came to your wake to see you. They love you. They need you. And can’t believe they are saying goodbye. They are reading your obituary as they wait in line to see you, hands folded in a casket. They will cry themselves to sleep denying the fact you are gone, knowing that this is a nightmare that they will never be able to escape.
The day of your funeral, everyone who loves you is wearing black. They will be hurting and crying so hard that their whole body will ache. They will die as they say goodbye one last time. Then they will think of you and a memory of you, but stay quiet to process it all. As the service begins, they will start to talk about you and the life you lived. People will say speeches in your memory and not be able to get though the speech without trembling in pain.
They will proceed outside the church, into their cars, in the funeral procession, and into the cemetery. They will park their cars, and visit your plot for the very first time. As they see your casket come out of that hurst, they will feel a knife go through their chest. Your loved ones will see flowers on your casket, as final prayers are said. They will wish they could die too. They will do anything just to be with you. They will struggle to find happiness. Their days will be filled with sadness.
Your loved ones won’t see you waiting in line at a party anymore. They won’t be able to take pictures with you anymore. They won’t be able to text you to hang out or grab a bite to eat. They won’t see you in a graduation gown, your name being called on stage.
You might think you are ending your pain, but all your loved ones will be affected way more than you will be. Your parents will no longer have a child. Your grandparents will no longer have a grandchild. You will no longer be a sibling or cousin. Your pets will wonder where their owner is. That special person won’t have the chance to get to know you, date you, marry you, and build a life with you. Your significant other will no longer have a lover. Your loved ones will never be able to see you at your wedding. That happiness that was waiting for you, will never be able to materialize.
Everyone, who has ever been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you they cared, you would still be here. They wake up every morning thinking they will see you again, only to realize they won’t see you again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep, because even though they emotionally refuse to admit it, logically they know you are gone.
They will blame themselves no matter what. They will live forever miserable, angry, hurt and all asking that one question: why? They will wonder what if I helped you, would you still be here? Your loved ones lives won’t be the same. Realize that you may be ending your pain, but you’ll be starting a lifetime of everyone elses.
If you are feeling alone, and think that suicide is the only way out, know that you are not alone, and yes, someone would miss you.
How do I know about this kind of stuff to write up something like this? I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, and I miss my friends who passed away from suicide. There’s another great article on 25 reasons why you shouldn’t end your life along with this. Instead of re-inventing the wheel with tips and pointers, I decided to link a few great articles here.
If you or know someone that needs help, call 1–800–273–8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Hello! I’m Alesha! I’m a musician, actress, entrepreneur and writer and recent hospital patient (I still can’t believe that is real).Follow on Twitter. Let me know what you want me to write! Click here! I’m writing for Thrive Global, who’s mission is to change the way we work and live. As stated by Arianna Huffington, for far too long, we have been operating under a collective delusion that burning out is the necessary price for achieving success. This could be less true. All the latest science is conclusive that, in fact, not only is there no trade-off between living a well-rounded life and high performance, but performance is actually improved when we prioritize our health and well-being. It’s time to move from knowing what to do to actually doing it. With Thrive Global leading the way, I’m confident that we can have a mindset change on work-life balance. If you like what I’m writing, give me a heart and share! 🙂
Originally published at medium.com