Stress affects everyone. All couples go through ups and downs in their lives. They may be going through a rough patch personally or as a couple. Stress can take its toll on your loving relationship. The Couples Expert offers some suggestions for relieving stress in the context of your love relationship. 

What’s your best stress reliever? Some people like to play golf, cook or read to relax. Some like to take a walk or a run. When it comes to your relationship, when you start feeling stressed, do you retreat to your corners and do your own thing, or do you work it out together? I’ve come up with some pretty easy and fun suggestions for couples to employ when tensions rise and you feel strained or tense. These are in the context of an adult married or committed relationship, so don’t get the wrong idea. 

Work out together – Almost nothing brings more stress relief to your relationship than physical exertion. Hit the gym, work out at home, dance together or clean house and do yardwork. Breaking a sweat and pushing your bodies to the edge is a great way to work out stress from your life and relationship.

Have more sex- If there’s any better way to relieve stress I can’t think of it. Encourage play, have fun and try something different and exciting such as role play or experimenting with new positions. You’ll both find some stress relief together this way. The hormones released in your body before and after orgasm (called endorphins) make you feel naturally high (afterglow) and more relaxed.

Laugh together -Watch a funny movie or do something else that makes you laugh. Humor and laughter are great stress relievers. People that laugh more are naturally less stressed due to the hormones that your body produces when you laugh (those endorphins again).

A little friendly competition – Challenge your partner to a game or contest.  A little friendly competition is a great way to work out tension and to enjoy time with your partner. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing whether it’s golf or basketball, even video games. Talk smack (no character assassinations though), push back a little and have some fun trying to one up your partner in a friendly competition. Remember it’s just a game, and don’t take yourself too seriously. 

A couples getaway- Take a spa day with couples massage followed by a delicious dinner out can also bring a great deal of relaxation and stress relief. Make sure all of the details are worked out beforehand, so that all you and your partner have to do is to go and enjoy your date.

I hope you have fun and relieve some stress in your relationship soon. I think I might go take my own advice too. Have a good time! 


  • Stuart Fensterheim

    Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW

    The Couples Expert

    Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW helps couples to overcome the disconnection in their relationships. As an author, blogger and podcaster, Stuart has helped couples around the world to experience a unique relationship in which they can feel special and important, confident in knowing they are loved deeply and that their presence matters. His weekend workshop, Two Days: Seven Conversations has become a popular venue for many to set off on their journey of connectedness. The Couples Expert Podcast consists of weekly provocative conversations offering the perspectives and insight of experts from a variety of relationship related fields. Stuart also offers daily relationship video tips on The Couples Expert YouTube channel and by subscription in Stuart's Daily Notes. Stuart is happily married and a devoted father of 2 daughters. His office practice serves the greater Phoenix, Arizona area including the cities of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, and Mesa.