Technology has intricately woven itself into every facet of our lives, offering endless opportunities for entertainment, information, updates, amusement, inspiration, and connectivity. Unfortunately, it has also ushered in unprecedented challenges for parents who find themselves exhausted from daily battles with their children over screen time.
As a family therapist, I’m concerned on a number of fronts.
To begin with, there’s a clear correlation between excessive online use and depression. With AI fine-tuning algorithms to maximize engagement and retention, it’s a formidable challenge for both children and adults to resist the allure of one more click, one more point, or one more social media update.
The surges of dopamine triggered by online activities can lead to a natural decline in its production, resulting in a dopamine deficit that fuels depressive moods, often only alleviated by returning to the online world.
Secondly, our children are exposed to content unsuitable for their age and developmental stage, erasing a sense of innocence that can never be fully regained. Despite the best intentions, parental control apps have their limitations when it comes to shielding kids from harmful online content.
Lastly, those all-powerful algorithms. An eleven-year-old girl innocently watching a YouTube video about teeth whitening may soon be steered towards videos promoting disordered eating or self-harm—all in the name of keeping viewers engaged on the platform. Until corporations are held accountable for the harm their content can cause, we must provide safeguards to protect our children in the digital realm.
In the past few months, I’ve conducted interviews with 24 experts for a three-day Tech-Wise Parenting Summit. Together, we’ve explored strategies for parents to establish healthy technology routines. These experts, including psychiatrists, psychologists, researchers, journalists, parent educators, neuroscientists, and mindfulness teachers, have shared valuable insights.
One key takeaway is the importance of promoting authentic human connection. Text messaging, while convenient, lacks the vital elements crucial for meaningful communication, such as gestures, tone, and facial expressions. Psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel highlights how this deficiency can lead to misunderstandings and disconnection, triggering feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, particularly among struggling teenagers.
Encouraging our kids to spend offline time with friends and family can provide the nourishment that real-world human connections offer.
Meditation teacher and author Jack Kornfield underscores the importance of deep listening when discussing technology use with our children. Cultivating mindfulness can help parents be more responsive and less reactive, facilitating meaningful conversations that support collaboratively establishing healthy screen time limits.
Dr. Kristin Neff, author of “Fierce Self-Compassion,” draws a vital distinction between self-esteem, which relies on external factors, and self-compassion, which fosters a sense of unconditional self-worth. Teaching self-compassion equips teenagers with tools to navigate the challenges, isolation, and online pressures they face.
And, science journalist Catherine Price, author of “How to Break Up with Your Phone,” emphasizes the importance of having fun, which she says consists of playfulness, connection, and flow. Modeling enjoyable real-world activities, like dancing, making music, or playing board games, can inspire our children to look offline to enjoy life.
As parents, it is our responsibility to guide our children to navigate the digital world safely, and in a balanced way. This begins with setting clear intentions for our own tech usage and resisting the urge to escape into the digital realm when faced with loneliness or sadness.
By practicing balance in our tech habits, we can help our children develop healthy relationships with technology. In doing so, we nurture our human spirit and ensure that technology continues to be a force for good in our ever-evolving world.
For more information, please visit https://susanstiffelman.com/techwise/