People can be assholes. People can make us angry and it sucks. Relationships can be a drain and eat away at our psyche and energy. Why does this happen?

It simple. It’s all so simple.

People come into our lives for a reason.

People come into our lives to connect — for a night, for a month, for a decade, for a lifetime.

People come into our lives to love.  And/or People come into our lives to teach us lessons. The people that make us angry, the assholes? They teach us lessons.

If we don’t learn from our lessons, the universe will present the lesson again, and again, until we learn to not repeat a pattern. As we learn lessons, we become smarter, sharper, wiser. We share our wisdom. We find our way.  

If we don’t learn, if we don’t become smarter, sharper, wiser, no worries – I can guarantee we will be presented the lesson again. And Again. The cycle will repeat, and repeat, until we recognize the lesson and move on from the person(s) weighing us down and causing strife.

The #1 way to let go of being angry at someone else? Live in Eckhart Tolle moments, which I define as living presently. As much as you possibly can. Oh how incredibly light it feels to release yourself from the grips of anger, annoyance, pain, and strife. Living in Eckhart Tolle moments is to enter freedom. This is an easy to understand practice, and this is a practice that take’s practice to master, and is worth the effort!

I fiercely manifest and set the intention for anyone struggling with another human being — be it a partner, a family member, a boss, neighbor etc., to free themselves of the hurt and/or anger. Read these words carefully. Twice. Let them sink in.

Too much grief, sadness, and anger is too much past, not enough presence.

Eckhart Tolle

Being angry is like drinking poison, and wanting the other person to die. 

Educate yourself on the lessons from Eckhart Tolle. Who is he? 

Eckhart Tolle is most recognized spiritual guru on the planet. He is a German-born resident of Canada best known as the author of The Power of Now and A New Earth: Awakening to your Life’s Purpose.

He will free you from the grips of pain that assholds (and/or loved ones — and sometimes…that’s SAME person) can cause.

These teachings freed me, from people, from situations, from relationship trauma that I didn’t even recognize I had — and it can free you too.

We have all have pain-body. Are you familiar with yours?  Any trauma physical and mental can be helped by understanding the painbody and how to cope and release it. And anyone who has ever gone through heart break knows painbody. Heartbreak sucks. 

Eckhart Tolle discussed the pain-body below in an excerpt from Kathy Juline, SCIENCE OF MIND


SOM: You talk in your book about the pain-body, both personal and collective. What do you mean by the pain-body?

Tolle: The pain-body is my term for the accumulation of old emotional pain that almost all people carry in their energy field. I see it as a semi-autonomous psychic entity. It consists of negative emotions that were not faced, accepted, and then let go in the moment they arose. These negative emotions leave a residue of emotional pain, which is stored in the cells of the body. There is also a collective human pain-body containing the pain suffered by countless human beings throughout history. The pain-body has a dormant stage and an active stage. Periodically it becomes activated, and when it does, it seeks more suffering to feed on. If you are not absolutely present, it takes over your mind and feeds on negative thinking as well as negative experiences such as drama in relationships. This is how it has been perpetuating itself throughout human history. Another way of describing the pain-body is this: the addiction to unhappiness.

SOM: Can you suggest a way to eliminate the pain-body?

Tolle: Yes. We release it by cutting the link between the pain-body and our thought processes, so that we no longer feed the pain-body with our thinking. Every negative thought has a similar frequency to the pain-body and so feeds it. It cannot feed on positive thoughts. When the pain-body no longer runs the internal dialogue of our compulsive thinking, we become aware of it directly. We feel the emotion in our body, and so we bring awareness to it, the light of consciousness. The old emotion is then transmuted into consciousness in the same way that a fire transmutes everything into itself. So disidentification from the emotion and just being in the now moment is the way to stop the cycle of constantly recreating painful experiences.

(more on this excerpt here, worth reading the entire interview -trust me)

Eckhart’s teachings are incredibly beneficial for

-all people

-in all races

-in all cultures

-in all religions

-across the world.

I’ve traveled with him so first hand I can say, his lessons are legit! They are on point! His lessons have helped me tremendously, daily. His teachings are woven in my words throughout my writing.

Although Eckhart’s books are top notch, (The Power of Now has been translated into at least 33 languages and has sold millions and millions of copies) my attempt at reading them or listening on audible didn’t work for me. They certainly work for a lot of people, so give it a try if that’s what speaks to you.  I love walking and listening to Audible, though personally I find Eckart’s voice extremely monotone, and I don’t do well reading books anymore. The world we live in these days has me too distracted to focus on the pages for too long. However the youtubes I watch over and over. Something about watching him, there is a calmness equivalent to that of watching an animal. (Side note: I just have to say, I think Eckhart has the most adorable laugh ever. He is so soft spoken and monotone that it always cracks me up when he laughs (hard to listen on Audible, but mesmerizing to watch)!

And his messages? oh his messages! So Good!

Click here to get started on his lessons….  Eckhart Tolle YouTube Channel 

Recently, I was pulled into some very unwelcome rare family drama. And I am all Ain’t Nobody Sweet Brown Got Time for That! Here I am in all my glory, happy, clear, content, discovering more about myself each day, excited for my journey. I don’t need to get unhinged. I can’t allow disturbances around me to bring me down. I watch Eckhart and I listen.

Bringing myself back to presence, giving it perspective, and reminding myself it’s not my issue, not my monkey, took that weight off rapidly. I needed that feeling to go because it was not serving me at all. I got triggered hearing about the family drama (not my drama/not my pain) and that quickly build into a feeling of rage that immediately stiffened in my body and felt like liquid lead was being poured down my throat hardening when it got to my lungs. Presence! Ahhhh here- Eckart is speaking to me, and he stays with me.

Free your mind and get present.

Being conscious, living consciously, in-between your thoughts — that gap, that pause, in between the noise; that is presence.



The most beautiful place to live. Full of abundant love.  Being in this  conscious space is a delicious place to be in, because it feels so free! This, is presence. However, as human beings (BE — ING ever noticed that?) we have a mind.

So, let’s learn to use our minds, before our mind uses us!

I hope and wish and manifest each day this state of be-ing for everyone! Get yourself here, to this glorious head space, and you will remove all the heavy, thick, suffocating black tar sitting in your lungs and heart. Peace with Every Step!



  • Jen Whitney

    CEO of Being Fierce

    Inspired and Inspire! Truth dweller of raw grit; exposed and naked on the page. Learning. Evolving. Emerging. What a ride! Co-parent to three. Director.  Poet. Writer. Space- Explorer. Transformed my life. Lost the mental weight, lost 60 pounds, created space, filled with self-love, now use the word impossible with caution. —— We are all worthy of self-respect and self-responsibility and we can prove it in our actions. Let's go get it!