I have been conditioned to hold on tight to the ones I love. The harder I held on the more it showed my loyalty and commitment. I was an eager to please type that did not rock the boat. It appeared from the outside that I was smooth sailing into the sunset with my relationships in tow.

I have been taught to hold on to my biggest wounds and negative emotions – a martyr disguised as a proud warrior that beat the battle. Life went on despite forgotten hurts hidden deep in the heart. Like a seasoned actor, I was trapped in playing roles in my own made up affairs.

Letting go is a process. It is a conscious, self – perpetuating removal of ingrained thought and behaviour patterns that have been woven into my psyche for what seems like millennia. Letting go is a timeless exploration to my personal freedom. Timeless in the sense that letting go does not have an expected arrival or end date.

The act of releasing is leading me to be my own person. I am creating my own belief systems, especially in regards to relationships, instead of recycling and reusing borrowed beliefs from others and society in general.

On my path to self discovery I unearthed these 6 A’s to letting go – like an awe struck archeologist uncovering an ancient truth. There is no one right way to do it. Everyone needs to find their own way and I found mine.

These 6 A’s did not occur in a well maintained linear manner. There were starts, stops, halts and leaps.  Over time it has become more effortless to incorporate each one simultaneously into my daily life.

Amend –  amending and healing past and current hurts helps me to free up space to live in the moment and connect with my inner Being, my source of wellness.

Awareness – being self – aware of my emotions, thoughts, reactions and responses gently guides me to consciously choose my experiences.

Appreciate – appreciation is the most efficient way to get into a state of joy and contentment. Gratitude provides me with a perspective that my life is a string of happy moments intertwined in the contrast of the world I live in.

Accept – accepting all what is releases my resistance, control and  expectations of how, when and where my life should unfold. 

Allow – allowing myself to relax and breathe eliminates worries and struggles to get ahead.

Anticipate – anticipating what I desire in my life brings me into positive energetic alignment to receive it.

Sunset at Punta Mita, Mexico

 It has taken me years to get to self – mastery of letting go. Now in my personal freedom I am relaxed, still and can appreciate the sunset alone.


  • Vanessa Rochelle

    B.Sc. in Nutrition

    Here on the planet to experience, heal, grow, follow her soul’s desire and create. Fifteen years experience in the healthcare field in the area of health promotion, community development  and healthy living. Has a multidimensional approach to wellness, including free creative expression of Self  and self healing abilities such as processing one’s emotions. Mother of 3. Lover of nature. Past guest columnist for a newspaper. Recovering activist.