Spontaneity comes when we do the prep
Why and How to Prep
- determine everything you study and learn is never a wasted effort
- embrace the time invested as a gift to yourself – not as a chore
- embedding the information organically will create substance and stature in the way you speak and conduct yourself
- emotional, social, and somatic intelligence – listen to your instincts and body
- trust that what you need will come to you at the right time
- yearning to prove to someone what you know about them and how right you are for them is rarely in our best interest
- practice the meeting in your mind over and over as a failure and a success
- hold the meeting by yourself beforehand in private. get dressed in the same outfit you are wearing for the meeting. live the experience, really feel it, see it as if it is your reality. a premiere and invaluable exercise for a successful meeting
- forget everything you have learned in the prep right before the meeting. emptying yourself will bring clarity spontaneity to pivot in any direction
Time Spent Prepping
1 – 50 hours. Yes, you read this correctly. I have dedicated this much time preparing for an informational meeting, job interview, new client meeting, and the work I will embark on. This is how I find integrity, substance, and stature within myself. Equally as important, pridefully, this is how I honor the other person whom I respect, admire, and am grateful for their time.
Prep Goal, Purpose and Process
Goal: To secure a project, job, prestige, or financial well-being.
Purpose: Prepare myself intellectually, psychologically, emotionally, culturally, and socially to be in synchronicity with myself and the other person.
- watch interviews and presentations of the individual as themselves if applicable
- read fact-based trusted sources. look for obscure minutia
- study how they think and engage with others and in life
- learn about their success’, failures, and how the rebound
- write questions and answers you think they will ask and ones you want to know. please note that this is a vital area in the process where you must be searing in your honesty with yourself. the questions can not be superficial. they need to be complex, difficult, embarrassing, intrusive. the purpose of this exercise is to prepare for the worst and the best that can unfold. this way, you will not be caught off guard.
- research people, the person you are meeting with knows that you want to meet. if in your best interest and you think they will find it a positive. ask them if you can share with the person you just met and send their regards. this can be a perfect opening line to a cold letter of introduction
Securing the work: Did I score each time? No, of course not! Do I feel successful when I leave, regardless of the outcome? Yes, 100% of the time, here is how, why, and you can as well. I validate my success internally by how I showed up. Was I in peak flow and had a tour de force experience? Most every time, quite frankly, yes. That doesn’t mean I triumphed. Did I fail? not necessarily, unless the success of the criteria is only based on making a deal.
Resilience amid defeat: Not achieving my goal does not mean to me I failed Lisa. There were parts of me that still felt victorious. This is precisely why prep and practice are the non-negotiable foundation of my integrity and well-being. If I had not done the prep, I could not have shown up as all I know I am and can be. No one can take that away from me.
Rejection: No, I do not naturally think that every rejection is “for the better,” nor do I believe “something better is just around the corner.” On the contrary. I have resentment, anger, frustration, and sadness for both parties for all I knew; there could be with us working together. I give myself permission and entitlement to feel and discuss these negative thoughts – I don’t dwell.
Courage to Move Forward: What does come to me is that I never feel or think that the prep and meeting were an exercise in futility. I strive to find purpose, value, worth and teachable moments.
Otherwise, I would undermine my efforts
Lessons from Everyday Life Prep: Spend 15 minutes every day reading a variety of personal curiosities. Topics, people, facts, and aspirational ideas that will nourish and inspire you privately. It has been my serendipitous and frequent experience that I either use the information for myself or an altruistic gift to someone else soon after.
Here lies the purpose, validation, proof, and joy of prep in our lives