There’s a beautiful thing that is within all of us that doesn’t get the credit it deserves: resilience.

My interpretation of success has nothing to do with money or status but has everything to do with how many times you can get back up after falling (failing), and how fast you can train yourself to do it. Occasionally, I wonder how many times it’s going to take before I give up for good…but the answer will always be: until I have what I want. Humans were created with resiliency not to survive, but to thrive; to become better versions of themselves because that is what the human spirit longs for.

Being resilient doesn’t mean it’s easier. It means that you’ve just got a quicker lag time between getting knocked down and standing back up. The same is true with rejection, but aren’t rejection and failing similar experiences? When you get rejected or fail, it doesn’t always mean no. Sometimes it means not right now, and other times it means not in that way.

This is the one thing that differentiates people at their core because resilience is not genetic, and it doesn’t happen by accident. It is the defining factor as to who you are and who you can become. Yes, you may have to do it more than others, but through resilience, you can achieve anything.

Here are some simple steps to redirecting the “no’s” in your life:

  1. Assess what happened, take the time to actually process through it instead of reacting.
  2. Train your brain to view the negative as a positive. Even if the bad outweighs the good, find one positive spin and believe that it is good. 
  3. Think about how you’re going to do it differently next time and make a plan to execute those steps.
  4. Ask for help. A mentor, someone who is an expert in what you’re attempting, whatever it may be. Ask for help.
  5. Know that you aren’t the first that is experiencing this and you won’t be the last. You are not alone.

Ask yourself, is what you want worth it to you to risk failing? If the answer is no, you don’t want it bad enough. If the answer is yes, I want to give you peace of mind. Nobody that you look up to got to where they are by accident. Those are the people who have strengthened the muscle of resiliency. They are the people that when faced with “no”, found another way. 

Success doesn’t happen overnight, it happens through resiliency which takes time and practice. You were made for much more, and beautifully so.