Picking yourself is a struggle for many people. Are you one of them? I used to be. Until I discovered the beauty and power.

Growing up I wasn’t the most popular kid nor the least. I didn’t get picked first for teams in school nor did I get picked last. But I’m familiar with those emotionally crippling stories.

I have different stories that undermined my childhood. The results were the same. A prevailing sense of unworthiness and shame.

Have you struggled with unworthiness and shame?

It doesn’t have to be that way.

I grew up with overbearing authority figures. Obedience and compliance were expected. What I wanted, felt, or needed, was subject to them, the ones with the power.

I didn’t see myself separate from their control. I didn’t know I had power to pick myself.

Have you struggled with feeling powerless?

It doesn’t have to be that way.

I emerged into adulthood painfully aware of how messed up I was. I didn’t function well emotionally. Childhood traumas left behind unhealed wounds and scars in my heart and mind.

The idea of picking myself didn’t exist in my little pea brain. I didn’t think I had the right to exist at all.

Instead of picking myself, I picked on myself. I was self-destructive.

Have you struggled with internal self-destruction?

It doesn’t have to be that way.

There is a way out of the unworthiness and shame.

There is power inherently in you.

There is victory over self-destruction.

The beauty and power of picking yourself.

What do I mean by picking yourself?

Am I talking about being a self-centered, self-absorbed person? One who always puts yourself, your wants, and your needs, before anyone else?


If you think that way, you’ll never pick yourself.

And you should.

I got the term from the article Waiting to be Picked by Jeff Goins

The Beauty

Picking yourself means recognizing your value and honoring it.

Picking yourself means seeing the talents inside of you and employing them.

Picking yourself means recognizing your humanity and having compassion for yourself.

It is a beautiful thing.

There is no other you. You have things inside you no one else has. You can do things no one else can do. The world loses out if you don’t share who you are. We need you.

YOU matter.

Humanity is the crown of creation. A crown is valuable. A crown is a sign of worthiness, honor, and power.

If you drop a crown in the mud it doesn’t stop being a crown. It’s still valuable even if it’s covered in dirt. With a little loving care its beauty is seen once again.

YOU are valuable.

YOU have worthiness, honor, and power.

If you feel dropped in the mud by things that have happened to you, or choices you’ve made — you are still valuable. You still have worthiness, honor, and power.

What you need is some loving care. You need to pick yourself

Unworthiness is ugly.

Shame is ugly.

Powerlessness is ugly.

Self-destruction is ugly.

Picking yourself is beautiful.

The Power

What stands in the way of you picking yourself?

How you see yourself.

Unworthiness, shame, powerlessness and self-destruction dishonor you. They are selling you lies in your mind and emotions.

Lies are destructive.

The truth is powerful.

YOU do matter.

YOU are valuable.

It starts with a decision to reject the lies and embrace the truth.

Everything in you will scream to the contrary but this decision has power.

A decision is not a wish.

A decision will take some kind of action.

Lies breed in the dark.

Because you can’t see your thoughts and emotions they need to be yanked out into the light and slain with the truth.

For this you need your voice.

Give voice to the truth daily.

Some call it affirmations. Some call it confessions. I call it powerful.

Words of truth spoken out of your own mouth, over and over, is honoring to who you are.

Try it right now — say: I matter. I’m valuable.

It will change how you see yourself.

I emerged from self-hatred and learned how to pick myself.

So can you.

So my friend, please pick yourself. We need you.

Originally published at medium.com