What will you do when it happens to you?

Recently I was talking with a friend who was offered a new job. She had been at her old job for a while and wanted a change for a lot of reasons. Despite her loyalty to her current position, she knew that there was no room for promotion, it certainly was not meeting her financial needs and at the end of the day it represented and facilitated a stagnant mindset relative to her personal growth.

We shared a moment of jubilance when she told me she had decided to accept the offer and take the new job. She was “ner-cited”, nervous and excited all at the same time. Nervous about leaving the familiar but excited about the idea of forward progress. As protocol would have it, she went to her current boss to break the news and officially give her resignation and that’s when it happened, THE COUNTER OFFER.

A counter offer is an offer made in response to another offer. It permits a person to decline a previous proposal and continue in negotiations. Although I’m sure you want to know what her final decision was, I’m more interested in telling you what I now understand about the counter offer.

In life, we will be presented with new opportunities. When presented with the new, the old will tug at your heartstrings. But here’s what you may want to consider; if what the “old” had to offer was so good, why did it wait until a new opportunity presented itself before it promised you happiness? If it had the ability to offer you more, why did it allow you to stay in a place of lack for so long? If it were the best option, why did you characterize the new thing as better?

The past will never want to let go of you. Despite all of the fear, failures, rejection, pain and pitfalls that resides there, it will continue to display a false sense of contentment the moment you appear to be courageous enough to grow and leave it behind.

Life is about flourishing; it’s about seizing the developmental moments. The opportunity to become greater will materialize and when it does you will need to decide whether you will continue to negotiate with your past or accept the offer of a more prosperous future. The door of opportunity won’t stay open long and it may be slow to open again if you continue to entertain that which was designed to distract you from becoming better.

To kill your curiosity, I’ll tell you what my friend’s final decision was; she chose to stay at her old job. What will you do do when you get the counter offer?

Originally published at medium.com