We all do it…

Is it not ironic how it is so expensive to look simple and refined. Like that unadorned, farmer inspired flannel that a girl or guy in the Indie movie just throws on on a random day or after laying on their mattress in their “cheap” beautifully brick-walled apartment look. The “everyday” nothing special, effortless shirt. The one the character must have had for at least five years and is almost so apparent throughout the film you can find it in their character description, as “commonly wears flannels”. Well where do you buy that shirt? You can get one that is similar to what you want at Hollister, but you are still paying fifty-dollars and you can only get it when it is in season. In the movie it is almost always in season, but in stores it is only fall and winter. Go figure. If not Hollister, maybe Urban Outfitters, but suddenly the simple, raggedy flannel costs a whopping eighty to one-hundred dollars. It is just silly how things change. We used to pay more to look like we have money. Now we pay more to look like we don’t. Our mind games and reverse psychology has over flowed from our social lives and parenting books to fashion. It used to be that when you made more money, you bought more expensive, supportive bras. Now we are paying anywhere between thirty and three-hundred dollars to buy a lace bralette that is a fraction of the fabric and support of a bra I could have bought at target. Even better, they only fit breast sizes below a C cup and of one specific shape. But I get it, the pretty girl on tumblr who looked happy with her life and self was wearing it so perfectly. So, now you are out thirty-dollars and you will never wear that bra. Trust me, I have one too.

Our self-worth is no longer dependent on ourselves, but our tumblr accounts. We use those pictures of other girls to inspire us to dress a certain way or pose a certain way for Instagram, but really we are just comparing ourselves and aspiring to change. We are all a victim of this feeling of wanting to be someone else. On one hand we look for girls similar to us and are “relating” to them, but on the other we are looking at ourselves as inferior to this stranger. We are buying the clothes they wear, not only because we like them, but we like the person in it. We like the way their story turns out, or the way they feel when they are wearing that effortless flannel or bralette. We like the way we think they feel and since we cannot change who we are or where we are, we change what we wear. In a way it is a simple fix towards changing everything. I get it, I do it too and sometimes it even works. Sometimes when I am wearing an outfit inspired by a movie or post on tumblr I feel like I am, for a second at least, worth a little more than before. There is nothing wrong with self-improvement, as long as you still know somewhere, in the back of your head or the bottom of your heart, you are pretty great. You never know… maybe someone is saving your picture too. Maybe your outfit, or Instagram post, or hairstyle inspired someone else to try something new, just like someone did for you.

So it is a tricky and contradicting situation, just as life is. Working on yourself without forgetting yourself. As long as you remember, the flannel is not effortless, it was hand picked by someone in wardrobe whose job is to create that feeling. And the bralette that costs an arm and a leg is just as uncomfortable for ninety-percent of the population as it is for you. So instead of trying to relate to the people in the pictures… relate to all the people doing the exact same thing as you.

Originally published at medium.com