You’ve finally made it past labor and delivery, woohoo! For many, the birth itself can feel like a marathon effort. You’ve prepared yourself for that moment for nine months (sometimes more), and now that baby is finally here, it can feel a bit chaotic simply because now there is no clear “finish line.”
If I had to pick one chapter in this whole book that you should bookmark and come back to time and again in that first year of motherhood, this would be the one. As a new parent, your attention will be pulled in a million directions. What even constitutes success during this time? From a whole health standpoint, it takes plenty of effort just to stay sane, be nourished, and enjoy this roller coaster of a journey into a new chapter in your life.
“When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” —Eleanor Brown
During this hormone-filled postnatal period, it can often be difficult to get out of your own head. The following is wisdom that many moms have shared with me. On the right is a list of common anxieties. On the left are perspectives that came over time. Whenever you feel tempted to doubt yourself, come back to this list and add your worry, then write next to it what you’ll say, do, or think instead.
| SAY THIS . . . | NOT THAT . . . |
| “Thanks so much for offering to help. Here’s what we need most right now . . .” | “What will they think of me if I ask for help?” |
| “I won’t be available for at least another month or two. I underestimated what having a baby would mean. Hope you will understand.” | “I have to live up to every promise.” |
| “I can make time for what’s most important. Chores can wait. Writing notes and answering the phone can be done later. Nothing sounds better right now than taking a nap.” | “I never have time for anything.” |
| “For my own and my baby’s sake, it’s imperative that I continually check in on my physical, mental, and emotional needs.” | “I can take care of myself later.” |
| “I am letting go of my need to always be in control. I recognize my need to take a break, and I am giving myself permission to do so.” | “My baby needs me for everything. No one else can do it like I can.” |
| “I’ve left my baby in good hands, and I have a choice to be anxious or not while I’m gone.” | “I can’t take any time away from baby. What if something goes wrong?” |
| “I don’t need to get anything done right now. It’s OK to just rest, recover, and be present with my child.” | “I can’t get anything done.” |
