Life can be noisy…
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by what life can throw at you. It can be hard to be your authentic self when you’re struggling to process all the information around you when you’re trying to be many things to different people.
So how can you be the best version of yourself when you’re starting to lose all sense of self?
Those that know me are smiling right now as they know I juggle numerous people, subjects and processes in this brain of mine, often at the same time as I try to improve the happiness of all those I meet. It’s not for the faint hearted and those on the same path will tell you, such a task is more than creating inspirational quotes and dictating how people should live to arrive at destination Happiness.
Sounds exhausting right? Well in all honesty, some days, it can be…
Today I wanted to reach out to those of you that feel overwhelmed by your commitments and are at breaking point. I may not be able to carry your burdens, but I can hopefully give you a better perspective of your situation so you can help yourself.
Right now, you may have the sensation of feeling empty; you’re more indecisive and insecure than normal and your mood swings can be extreme. All these factors point to the fact that you’re losing touch with your authentic self and the reasons why you’re on the path you’ve chosen.
This doesn’t mean you should give up…It DOES mean you need to take time out to re-evaluate how you’re spending your energy and whether it’s falls inline with what is important in your life.
Who am I?
Being ‘authentic’ sounds like a new cool hipster saying but in reality, all it means is that you’re embracing who you are (minus the ego) and acting in a way that resonates with your values. Staying true to your values can help guide you through stormy weather and soothe the soul.
Very often, when we enter a relationship/partnership with others, we will give parts of ourselves freely in order to fit in with the collective. There isn’t anything wrong with that, but if you compromise too much and forget to regularly connect to your authentic self, you will start to lose control and fall into despair.
Why you should create time for yourself?
During stressful times, it’s important to take the time out for yourself. Even if it’s just 10 minutes a day to enjoy and be present in one singular moment. Be it a trip to your favourite coffee shop or a scroll in a park. Trust me, by allowing yourself this time to reconnect, you’ll become more resilient and enjoy a happier more fulfilling life.
Many people I know struggle to make time for themselves due to various commitments. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard ‘I haven’t got time!’ Only to find that the person in question had plenty of time, they just weren’t managing their energy wisely.
For those of you reading this, please keep this quote to hand every time you’re about to say you haven’t got time. I guarantee it will make you stop and think again.
Hopefully by this point, you’re starting to understand that making time for yourself isn’t an act of selfishness; it is a necessity so you can be better version of yourself to help others.
So how do you go about creating time for your authentic self?
Here are my 5 tips to help you create ‘Me’ time to reconnect to your authentic self.
• Treat your relationships as investments.
If you start to treat your time as money, who would you invest in? Do an personal audit (it’s harsh but you will thank me afterwards) and make sure you give the most time to those you care about. I’m not proud to say that I’ve dropped the ball a few times and watched people leave because I’d overstretched myself to everyone and didn’t pay attention to the needs of those I care about most. It’s one of those devastating lessons you aim never to repeat.
By investing your energy in those relationships that matter; not only do you enrich those connections, but you start to understand the real value of time and how to manage it effectively so you can make more time for you and your authentic self.
• The power of saying NO.
Probably my favourite and the one I have the most difficulties with due to my curious nature and INFJ tendencies. If you’re starting to run on empty, then don’t be tempted to take on more. You are no use to anyone if you’re exhausted and mentally drained. Though this is commonly associated with working life, this also applies to all your relationships. Learn to clearly communicate your boundaries to others and listen to your body. Those tension headaches and strange aches and pains that refuse to go away? All could be messages from your body, trying to tell you to slow down and recharge.
• Schedule your ‘me’ time.
Apart from making sure you’re getting enough sleep in a 24 hour period; try and treat your ‘me’ time as if you were going into a meeting with an important client. Remember to turn off your phone and don’t be tempted to reschedule if something comes up. You are the most important person you should be looking after during this time. Parents and carers out there, I know you’re shaking your heads, but trust me, you can not be the best parent/carer you can be if you don’t look after yourself first and setting the example. Ask for support from family and friends, rely on your partner, you got this!
• Simulate your senses.
A quick way to reconnect is to simulate the senses to remind you of who YOU are. This will help guide you through any situation.
Whether it’s the taste of a good cup of coffee; the feel of grass beneath your feet or maybe just listening to music on the commute. Music is one of the most popular ways for people to escape into ‘me’ time. So why not pop in your headphones and be transported to your own private Idaho?
• Getting lost to be present
Walter Benjamin, a well known philosopher posed that the only way to be fully present in a moment to surrender to being lost. To fully appreciate everything within a given moment is when you’re forced to face the uncertainy of your surroundings and use your senses instead of what you ‘know’ to guide you.
It sounds daunting right?
But it has advantages that mindful meditation can’t always fulfil. When you’re forced to be ‘present’ in a unfamiliar setting you are in fact connecting to your authentic self to help guide you. Those that follow me on Instagram will know that I spend alot of ‘me’ time alone wondering down different forest paths trying to drown out the noise so I can hear myself think.
I appreciate not all of you can access nature as easily as me, but the same principal applies. Try visiting somewhere unfamiliar or even take a different route to work one day to force your brain to be more ‘present’ (in a non- overstimulating way) so you can reconnect to you authentic self.
If you’re still struggling, I can definitely recommend an app called Headspace. This is a wonderful app will help train your brain to live a healthier and happier life by sorting the spam from the important stuff by helping you living presently in the moment. Why not try one of their ‘Take 10’ sessions at headspace.com
This is only the beginning….
I hope that you find my tried and tested tips useful as you begin to rediscover your authentic self so you can take the necessary steps to be the best version of yourself to lead a happier life.
If you have any other tips you would like to share with the community, why not get in touch, let’s start a revolution…