The biggest issue my clients come to me with is being afraid to be judged. To some, their coaching business is still a secret thing that they play down to their friend and family and others have told me they’re more scared of someone saying yet than no!
With more and more female coaches in the online entrepreneur industry, all trying for a few seconds of visibility in front of their ‘ideal clients’, this fear of judgment is coming out in droves and especially hitting new coaches fresh from the high of their coaching certificates.
Eager to land their first client they suddenly surrounded by a sea of other coaches and guru’s doing bigger and better things and the overwhelm of setting up a new business and all the hats you have to wear before you even start attracting clients starts affecting even the most positive mindset.
But why are they feeling like this? The surprising thing is that when we really dive into the root of where that is coming from, the judgment we most fear is often from our nearest and dearest!
The ones that are supposed to have our backs no matter what, support us in our dreams and goals. So why are they not supporting us now when we really need them?
Well the simple truth often comes down to one of three things:-
1) They don’t understand what are you trying to do or the whole internet online business world and they are reflecting the fears and doubts coming from you when you downplay your business / are wishy-washy with who you help and how, when asked.
2) They are judging from their own EGO space – maybe they have always wanted to own their own successful business but didn’t think it was achievable or available to them / They like playing a small fish in a big pond / fancy titles and responsibilities at work makes them feel successful in life
3) Are you sure they are not supporting you? Have you come out and actually asked them? Sometimes we can get so caught up in our own self-doubt and inner worries of judgment that we second guess and create responses to questions we haven’t even asked or allowed the other person to answer
If you ask my partner he would tell you I was the ‘queen of scenarios’ playing out what might happen in my head, reacting, and changing my course based on how I thought they would react. But instead of correctly assuming their responses I was actually allowing my subconscious to control the situation and effectively ‘keeping me safe’
It was listening to my inner chatter of self-doubt and fear of being judged and directing these scenes in my head to play out in a way it thought kept me ‘safe’ which to the subconscious the safe option is always what is most familiar to it regardless if that is what you want or need.
The great news is your reaction is totally in your control you just have to learn how to control it.