You know those confusing times
When nothing seems to fit right
—
You are neither shoe size 6 nor 7
Nor clothes size 12 nor 14
—
You can’t seem to be a good employee
Yet being an employer is no longer manageable
—
You can no longer entertain those around you
Yet being alone is like another reminder of darkness
—
You can’t seem to sleep at night
But the days are passed with unending naps
—
You appear to live in paradise
Yet you feel the exact opposite
—
People tell you they love you
Yet the only thing you feel is self-loathing
—
You have more than enough money to survive
But just not enough to flourish
—
The more you try to breath deeply
The less alive you feel
—
Even your personality disorder
Is only borderline
—
You know, how you can workout for three hours
And then be paralyzed the next moment
—
So you go shopping
Perhaps some retail therapy will work?
—
You buy things to make you feel like you fit in
That Louis Vuitton purse
—
You carry them around
Like badges of acceptance
—
Yet still, I’m not quite a size 6, nor a size 7 shoe
Neither am I quite a size 12 or a size 14 clothes
—
So no matter which external badges of acceptance I wear
The truth is
—
That I do fit
I fit
I fit
I fit
I fit into
Shoe size – me
Clothes size – me
Personality type – me