You know those confusing times

When nothing seems to fit right

You are neither shoe size 6 nor 7

Nor clothes size 12 nor 14

You can’t seem to be a good employee

Yet being an employer is no longer manageable

You can no longer entertain those around you

Yet being alone is like another reminder of darkness

You can’t seem to sleep at night

But the days are passed with unending naps

You appear to live in paradise

Yet you feel the exact opposite

People tell you they love you

Yet the only thing you feel is self-loathing

You have more than enough money to survive

But just not enough to flourish

The more you try to breath deeply

The less alive you feel

Even your personality disorder

Is only borderline 

You know, how you can workout for three hours 

And then be paralyzed the next moment

So you go shopping

Perhaps some retail therapy will work?

You buy things to make you feel like you fit in

That Louis Vuitton purse

You carry them around

Like badges of acceptance

Yet still, I’m not quite a size 6, nor a size 7 shoe

Neither am I quite a size 12 or a size 14 clothes

So no matter which external badges of acceptance I wear

The truth is

That I do fit

I fit 

I fit

I fit

I fit into

Shoe size – me

Clothes size – me

Personality type – me