“Did you just ‘should’ on yourself?!!” my shrink blurted as he abruptly interrupted me mid-sentence.

(Just like he usually did when I used the ‘wrong’ word or phrasing).

“Oh yeah, I just did, didn’t I?!”, I exclaimed with pride because I normally had NO awareness whatsoever as to what I was normally thinking, but now I had ‘evidence’ that I was developing that awareness (slowly but surely).

Everyone affectionately knew him as Dr. D. He worked in a clinic on 16th Street near Union Square in Manhattan.

Everyone adored him and was willing to wait 3 hours to see him because he took the time that HE needed with his patients.

Needless to say that he was an anomaly as far as shrinks go.

Dr.D was the first person ever to ‘take me under his wing’.

He could see how desperately I wanted to feel better. I remember asking him so many times, “When am I going to get better??” I was tired of wallowing in the cocoon of trauma, I was tired of being numbed out.

For a period of about 2 years (9 years ago) I showed up in Dr D’s office 2x a week for an hour at a time and he would grill me on my thinking, my thoughts.

Whenever he corrected me, he would grab a bright pink sticky note, draw a circle and write the ‘wrong’ word in that circle and slash a line through it. He would then draw another circle with the ‘right’ word and hand it to me.

I would leave each appointment with at least 5 sticky notes all bunched together (I still have them).

I didn’t know it at the time, but this was the most significant thing he could have done in helping me to find my way out of my debilitating depression and anxiety.

It all starts with our thoughts, our thinking.

Over time, I began to have days where I was happy and feeling good.

I remember one day in particular when I said to him, “I’m feeling really good but I’m waiting for something bad to happen.” “How can this feeling possibly last?”

The minute I said this he began shuffling the papers on his desk looking for a sticky note.

He couldn’t find any so he ripped a note from his script pad and wrote, “You are simply not used to being/feeling powerful, assertive, hopeful and optimistic.” Then he handed me this piece of paper with smiling big brown eyes.

He will forever hold a dear place in my heart.

As I reflect on this time in my life, so very long ago, I could see that what was truly preventing me from living my potential was my subconscious identity. 

Even when I reached a place of being/feeling powerful, assertive, hopeful and optimistic, it wasn’t enough because subconsciously I still held the identity that was the opposite of all those characteristics.  

It wasn’t until I created a subconscious identity that aligned with my desires that I was able to create a life that I truly wanted. 

What does this mean for you?

It means that if you are still trying to get ahead in your life and you just don’t know why things are not changing for you the way you want…

It’s not your fault.

The number one reason things are not working in your life the way you want them to is because of the subconscious identity you hold.

You’re simply out of subconscious alignment with your desires and once you become aligned you will find that you will THRIVE.

So how do you become aligned with what you want to create in this world?

1. Clarity – Get Clarity on what you want. You can’t create what you want without ‘knowing’ what you want. Get specific, if you want a house, what kind of kitchen cabinets do you want?

2. Vision – Create a Vision for what you want in your life. What does your ideal day look like? Who are you with? What are you doing?

3. Context – Create Context for how you want to feel. We magnify our desires through feeling. How does it feel to have the life that you want? Spend at least 2 minutes a day feeling what it feels like to have what you want. Do this for at least 6 months so that you can create ‘context’ for your subconscious mind. This is how you begin to create a new identity.

It must be a committed daily practice for it to work.

This process works! It’s based in science. 

THIS is how to change your life.

Hold on to your hat and get ready to THRIVE.