praying man

Leveraging help for faster progress.

Allow me to start on a biblical note. Matthew 7: 7 offers some powerful yet practical life guidance – Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Many of us fear to appear needy or vulnerable. We imagine that being self-contained is macho and a virtue or we don’t want to bother those around us. Often times, we struggle privately and keep on hopping quietly that someone will get the cue or seek out our needs and come to our rescue without asking. We even become disappointed when they don’t and dub them insensitive especially when they are our close partners, spouses or supervisors. Even when we want to ask, we lack the courage to do so. Why? Because we pre-suppose a no response just like we have received in the past hence fail to ask simply to preserve our ego from being hurt. Often times, we don’t even know that we can ask because we have never asked before or we have never seen anyone asking in our particular area of need.

Asking varies from small requests that are personal and important to you to big ones. From asking someone for a date or to marry you, asking your spouse for help in paying the bills, take care of your children, pick the groceries or asking for a loan, seeking a promotion, an opportunity to speak, pray, market your products to seeking a scholarship or funding. In their book, The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen discuss the importance of asking and why we all need to keep asking if we hope to progress in life or succeed at all. They hold that the concept of being self-made is a fallacy and that we all rely on other people to grow and thrive.

This calls for some reflection. Determine what you want in your various facets of life and then start asking for guidance, support, help, mentoring, coaching or material and emotional support. Ask your spouse to help in house chores, ask your team to help you build up a business proposal, ask for time away, ask your children to walk the dogs or prepare meals. Ask for more time to pay a loan or work on a document. Ask your spouse to give you a treat or buy you a certain gift item for your birthday or support your side hustle. Ask your gym instructor to help you achieve a certain body poise or your friend to foot the bill. Ask your supervisor to give you a raise or accord you a promotion or even apply for one once it is advertised. Ask your spouse to quit a certain bad habit that is effecting your marriage or be more present for dinner or ask for more and quality bedroom moments. The issue here is if you don’t ask you don’t get. Furthermore, according to Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, the world is full of genies waiting to grant your wishes.

As you take time to ask more often, also take time to give more. Just as the more you ask the more you get, the more you give, the more you receive. Make it easy for people to seek help from you by radiating concern, warmth and openness.

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