We all go through life trying to prove something either to ourselves or to others, we fall into this trap daily, that we are not enough, we have to look successful, we have to look happy, we have to look positive.
Anxiety and self-doubt arise when something or someone expose our insecurities, expose our weaknesses, or in other words, make us look human.
But what if being vulnerable and exposed is not that bad? What if we were all wrong?
We grew up watching movies or seeing ads about the picture perfect life, people running in a nice sunny day, enjoying drinks and laughs with friends etc, but what if happiness and freedom can also be accompanied by the opposite of this image.
What if reading a book is much better than going out? What if sitting on a bench in a park in silence is much better than running the marathon.
What if we don’t have to prove our worth by what we can do but rather by what we choose not to do?
Having an illness made me prioritize everything in regards what is good for my health and what is not, who I choose to hang out with and who I’d rather avoid when I’m not in my best mental condition.
It took me a long time to reconcile with myself, to accept my vulnerability and use it as a power tool rather than a shackle that holds me back.
Nowadays, social media gave us a window to other people’s lives, we know where they vacationed, what they accomplished, what they’re doing at this exact moment, but social media shows one side of life, the “I’m happy,” version; everyone is somehow desperately trying to show they can fit, that their life is really picture perfect.
But I stopped falling into this trap, I wrote about my weaknesses, about my anxiety, about going to therapy, in a sense, my illness liberated me, society may say whatever they want, they may pity, throw their disgruntled looks or sorry looks too, but I reached a place that I can truly say I’m happy with.
I’ve always been a fan of Oprah, and she always talks about how she loves her alone time, sitting in silence with her thoughts, and I think anyone who has a problem being alone or doing nothing, is due to the fact they haven’t found peace yet.
It’s weird how we flaunt how exhausted we are because of work, vacationing, or over doing activities and errands throughout the week, why do we feel a sense of achievement for being burned out, and that’s not only coming from a sick person, but even Brené Brown said something similar and I quote her “It takes courage to say Yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol.”
Maybe it’s time to accept being ordinary as the new status-quo, doing the minimal and being happy as a valid option, not following the glitz and glamour offered by social media and doing what appeases you.
I when I was engaged to my now husband, people kept asking us when will you get married, when we got married people kept asking us when will we have a child, when we had our first born they asked us when will we have the second, and so on, people always feel there need to be some sort of pattern to life, some sort of standards we need to follow dearly or we will be- dare say it- different (GULP!)
I don’t think anyone can ever achieve the mental clarity, the peace and serenity they long for until they are okay with being vulnerable, they’re okay with swimming against the current, accepting their weaknesses and failures and using it to move forward, help others and cheer or them to reach their full potentials even if they can’t do it themselves.