The reason why I wrote this book is to tell everyone the truth. The truth is something that not many people can handle. The truth hurts. When I was a young girl, I used the truth, or at least what I believed was the truth, to get everything I ever wanted. I used the truth to meet the ones I wanted to meet. To go where I wanted to go and to see what I wanted to see. But that was all my truth, I’d be surprised if it was everyone else’s truth also. I have been told so many lies in my life. Over the years those lies have begun to roll out like a snowball. Whilst it was gathering the lies I was being told it was just getting bigger and bigger. Now that the snowball is starting to roll back, the truths are all being strewn left, right and centre. Everywhere I look I find another truth. I have been deceived by every single person who crossed my path. I have been fed lies after lies and until now I never knew the lies existed. What I’m now finding out is the biggest lie I was ever told. 3 lies actually. I was told I was nothing! Lie! I was told I would be barefoot and pregnant all my life and nothing more than a baby making machine for any man who ever touched me. Lie! I was then told that no one would ever love me, for me, because of who I am. Lie! If I was ever lied to in my life, enough to set a precedence to what was to come, it would be those lies I was told. Because of what I was told I went out into the world to prove that someone right. Proving I was no one and it didn’t take too much to screw up. All I had to do was learn how to lie. How to lie to the ones I loved and the ones who loved me. I learnt how to lie that well that I didn’t even know if I was telling the truth. The fact that the lies rolled from my tongue so effortlessly was quite scary. You see the more someone lies the more they have to have a good memory. To be the best liar you have to have the most precise memory. Every time someone pulls you up on what you’ve said, you need to have the memory that goes along with it. Memories cannot be forged. If it didn’t happen, then the memory doesn’t exist. If it doesn’t exist, then the memory cannot be bought back. The things I’ve read in my life and the things I’ve done, places I’ve been and people I’ve met, form the memories in my mind. I’ve been challenged by many people who have called me a liar. I’ve been faced with people who don’t believe me. When these books come out, the memories will be on paper. If they didn’t happen I would have to have THE BEST memory to be THE BEST liar. The only memories I now keep are those that I choose to archive in my mind. I don’t want these words on these pages to be considered lies. If I’m asked about any particular event or situation, I will tell the truth and nothing but. My memory has faded over the years and I don’t remember the exact scenarios of whatever event took place. Where I was traumatised or affected in ways that I couldn’t fathom being in, now. Those are the times I remember. If I was asked what role I played in each event, I’d tell the truth and tell it as it was. If I was in the wrong, if I was the one who caused the situation. Then I would own up and accept the blame. Being told many times over that you are a pathogenic liar makes you question even your own thoughts and memories. But nothing in this book is a lie. Nothing I’ve written on these pages, are untruths. Every single word is true. I want these words to reach the ears and the hands of those who have been belittled, damaged or treated so badly that they wonder what they’re life means. I want these words to reach those who will read them and become a better person. Why? Because we all deserve to be heard. We all deserve to be listened to. We all deserve a chance to be someone.
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