It’s the thing that makes you stop doing the important stuff and fools you into thinking you accomplished something.
It’s that feeling that makes you feel great, but it’s like sugar – you get a temporary boost, only to fall down further once it wears off.
I’m talking about VALIDATION.
We seek to be validated by the people around us. That’s why we wear expensive clothes and have the latest gadgets.
So we can show the people that we’re either at their level or preferably a step ahead in life.
The insane thing is, that most of us are comparing ourselves with others, who are seeking that validation too. It’s a shallow cycle of trying to outdo the other person, with pointless “achievements”.
Validation seeking behaviour can change a person’s life – and not for the better.
More debt. More stress. Less fulfilment. Less happiness.
I see it in my 8-year-old when she comes home from school – telling me such and so are in dance competitions, and she doesn’t understand why she isn’t. She feels less than the girls who go there.
She consistently asks me if I think she’s funny, or pretty, or clever, or nice. And of course, I tell her she is all those things and more.
But I also try to teach her the importance to be her own best friend. And to try and compete with herself instead of others.
Try to be a little kinder to your brother tomorrow than you were today. Try to share a few more of the lollies that you had tomorrow. Try to realise that the only person you can truly control is yourself, so don’t leave it to others to feel good about yourself.
You are your own best friend in the whole wide world.
Next time you compare yourself with someone else – just ask yourself:”I wonder who they are comparing themselves with?”
It might help you snap out of that shallow cycle of quick win addiction and help you get on with your true life.