“I am not your guru” is the title of the latest film on Tony Robbins. I am not your guru. What does that actually mean? Does it mean I don’t have the answers? Or that I can’t change you? Or that you can’t rely on me?

No… What it really means is that the one person that has changed everyone’s life is the person whose life was changed. In simpler terms, you are the only person, who can change your life.

The fact is, we are consistently trying to outsource responsibility as human beings. A coach. A guru. It’s the government’s fault. It’s because of the weather. It’s because I don’t have the tools. I don’t have the time, because of my work. The list of excuses is endless, but if you want to change your life, you must know-

“You can either have your results or your excuses, but not both”

I too am not your guru, but rather a small light on your path offering you the chance to change, giving you the insights, the tools you “lack”, giving you the knowledge to create power.

Every time you are given advice, are you listening or just hearing? For this article, like any other will only change your life is you take what is said and APPLY it.

Knowledge is only potential power.- Napoleon Hill

So, let’s start and take notes!

1. Take Accountability

Right now, who owns you? Who is dictating how you spend your time? Are you in full, complete and utter ownership of yourself, your thoughts, your actions, your beliefs?

Answering the above questions is the first step to taking control of your life. If you don’t measure it, it doesn’t exist and you can’t change what doesn’t exist.

No one can change your life for you, no one can shine a light on your path unless you have your eyes open to see. Unless you own your situation. Unless you divorce your excuses and marry the truth.

“The truth will set you free”-Tony Robbins

Be truthful to yourself above anyone else, because otherwise not only will you be lying to yourself, but also everyone you ever meet, talk to and love.

So, to make a change you need to hold yourself accountable and to hold yourself accountable you need to see where you are right now, speak your truth and then know where you want to go.

You cannot allow your situation to run your life, however pitiful it may be. Isn’t it funny that the people, who have often been through the worst, go on to achieve the greatest things? Do you know why? It’s because they know that once they have owned such a difficult situation, everything else is easy. They know where they were, where they are now and where they want to be.

Stop! Now be honest with yourself.

I interviewed an inspiring man last week, Sergio Bendana. He is the founder of Run Your Mission, a youth leader at the Tony Robbins Leadership summit and a force for positive change… he was the inspiration behind this article.

He changed his life and first of all, he held himself accountable and married his truth.

Having found himself drifting from weekend to weekend at university, he got his wake up call. He got the pain that forced him to marry the truth and hold himself accountable. He failed his first class at university — he went from straight A high school student to university failure in a matter of months. But, he picked himself up, took himself off to UPW and opened his eyes so he could change his life. Sergio was the one person, who changed his own life, not Tony Robbins, not his coach, no one but him.

Don’t wait for a wake-up call, because it may never come and if it does it will only ever come with bad news or far too late. Don’t wait to have the realization when no time remains and feel the regret of a life that passed before your eyes without even noticing you were the one in charge.

“The definition of hell: on your last day on earth, the person you became meets the person you could have become.”

Wake yourself up right now! Look at yourself in the mirror, measure where you are, see where you want to go and marry the truth and divorce the bullshit that is holding you back. Take the first step to change and fulfilment and achievement. Hold yourself accountable on a daily basis — examine your weeks and see what went well, what went wrong and make the adjustments by owning your situation.

“Success requires no explanations; failure permits no alibis.”-Napoleon Hill

2. How you do anything is how you do everything.

Measuring where you are and marrying the truth is the first step to making a change. But to create lasting change, you need momentum and this is where practice comes in.

How you do anything is how you do everything.

Every single thought, word, and action have consequences. It takes only one screw to topple the tower.

How do you make your bed each morning? How do you brush your teeth? What do you tell yourself on a consistent basis? How do you eat? How do you work? How do you play? How do you sleep?

You can tell the quality of someone’s life through the analysis of the small details of their daily life, which are often overlooked.

If you were the best in the world at everything you do, how would you do everything? The best bed maker, the best tooth brusher, the best sleeper… if you can master the small things, you will build momentum at an astonishing rate.

It is in those crucial moments of life changing decisions that the small, everyday actions will show up. Recently I decided to start having cold showers every morning and they have started to show up in every part of my life. That moment when I have the decision to dive into the cold or walk away has given me the momentum to make tough decisions and take action in other parts of my life where previously I would have shied away… How you do anything is how you do everything.

I’m not saying that tomorrow you should be doing everything human possible at a masterful level, rather you should build on the small actions every day and start small.

“You get what you tolerate”-Tony Robbins

When you no longer tolerate anything below a certain standard, your quality of life will rise to that level. It seems obvious, but it is all too easy to let the seemingly insignificant and small things slide to a standard below what you are striving for. If you want OUTSTANDING — and trust me, you do, I do, we don’t want to dabble — you must raise your standards in every aspect of your life to OUTSTANDING.

What can you do right now that will make everything else easier or unnecessary? Start with that, and build on it.

Incrementally raise your standards and make the new standard your normal, so that every part of your life is OUTSTANDING. It is a long road, but worth it.

You will get momentum for the change you have just made by raising your standards across the board.

Start by writing down your mission statement. Mine is “My definite purpose in life is to inspire positive change and serve others.” Make your own motto. Repeat it to yourself every morning. Write it down. Write down what you will no longer tolerate. Repeat it aloud — and with emotion. Make it meaningful. Make this new standard your new normal. Build faith in yourself so that you will not let any opportunity to raise your standard drift by.

3. Becoming a leader

You’ve taken responsibility, you’ve raised your standards and now you need to become a leader so that your own change becomes a catalyst for others.

“All leaders were once intelligent learners”-Napoleon Hill

Intelligent learners not only learn from their leaders, they adapt this knowledge and apply it. They take the best bits, the greatest hits and utilize them for themselves.

To take your own knowledge, your own practices and become a leader yourself, you need a vision of the world that doesn’t yet exist.

You need to be a visionary. You need to have a mission. A vision that necessitates cooperation and a vision that is greater than what exists already.

Then you have to be able to communicate this vision.

“All visionaries are ridiculed at first — then revered”-Robin Sharma

To effectively communicate your vision, you must not allow temporary defeat to become permanent failure. The criticism, questioning of your sanity (!) and knock backs all indicate that you are challenging the world and its people to move beyond their current situation. To look ahead.

“All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end”-Robin Sharma

To make your vision a reality — you have to communicate it so consistently and effectively that it is on longer just a vision you aspire to, but part of your identity. Then you have to make your followers identify with your vision.

The most painful experience a person can go through is the loss of their identity. You can use this to your advantage. People move from pain much faster than they move towards pleasure. Use this as leverage to make your vision a reality.

A man who is morbidly obese knows full well that if he ate healthily and exercised he would have a much happier life — the pleasure. Yet it is only when he gets told he has three months to live and knows the effect this will have on his family, that he makes a change — the pain.

Make your vision part of your identity and that of others and use it to inspire action. Call up one person right now, who you trust, and tell them your vision of the world and persuade them through your communication that it is the only way forward.

You have just gained your first follower — the first of a million, or more.

“The best time to plant a tree was 30 years ago. The second best time is now.”


To change your life there are three steps you need to take:

  1. Take accountability
  2. Raise your standards
  3. Become a leader

The fact you are here means that you are already on that path to change, but are looking for that next level. The only way to get there, is to go to places you’ve never been before. You have to measure what you’ve previously been avoiding — the thorn in your arm that you’ve spent your life trying to protect… TAKE IT OUT. Take accountability. Raise your standards. Become a leader.

Above all else, if you want to change your life, you have to speak your own truth. You have to marry the truth and divorce the bullshit.

Call to Action

Are you committed to taking charge, making long lasting change and setting a new standard? If so, subscribe here for more life changing content and join others on the same journey.

Now, answer these three questions and take that first step.

  1. In all honesty, where am I on my journey right now?
  2. Where do I want to be in 10 years and why do I want to be there?
  3. Who do I need to become to get there and what one action can I take right now to start this new journey?

Originally published at medium.com