I scribbled furiously in my journal, my head down with focus, my writing barely legible.
It was New Year’s Day 2003 and I was making my dreams come true, god damnit.

Sad side note: they didn’t come to fruition that year.

Then there was the year, after a horrible New Year’s Eve date (not even a good kiss, if you can believe that nonsense) that I dropped to my knees in my tiny studio apartment in NW Portland and asked The Universe to just send me the love of my life already.

Sad side note: he didn’t show up that year either.

Finally in 2007, I got sick, like tumor-on-my-ovary sick and woke up.

Manifesting the life of my dreams wasn’t going to happen alone, by myself, wishing or desperately crying out my desires to some random Universe.

I was going to have to come up with something far better than that and fast.

There’s nothing like a healing crisis to whip a girl into shape.

That was the year I learned about coaching and healers and psychics and prayer healings and all kinds of seemingly whacky things that totally changed my life and saved my health.

I became a coach and then a healer after that.

Because, it worked.

Here’s the thing, as humans we’re flawed af. And we cannot do this life thing alone.

Left to our own devices, we screw up and self-sabotage. We do this because we carry within us unprocessed traumas, hurt and pain that are leaking out all over the place.

This is the reason the self-development field has blown up in such a dramatic way in the past decade (predicted to be a $13.2 billion industry by 2022).

We know we can’t do life alone, and we know we need support – whether it be by a therapist, coach, mentor, healer or a spiritual guide.

We know, intuitively, that it only takes one person to believe in us to experience the next level in our life – whether that’s buying our dream home, getting married, starting a new business, divorcing a partner and getting to truly know ourselves, writing a book, having a baby, healing our body of a physical/mental illness or creating a whole new industry/product/creative endeavor.

In the world now, there are many gifted mentors, healers, coaches, therapists and spiritual guides and it can be tough to know how to choose “the one” who can walk alongside you as you bring your desires into reality.

So, I put together my top three tips to help you choose the perfect-for-you support to make your new year’s dreams come true (because no one should be left stranded on their carpet crying out to the Universe):

Tip 1: Make sure you really, really like them

It’s easy to get distracted by the brightest, shiniest, loudest voice in the self-development space or to make a decision off of an enticing Facebook or Instagram ad, but you’ll get the best results when you choose someone you actually feel a resonance with.

I recommend reading the articles they’ve written, listen to their podcast, watch their videos, spend time immersing yourself in their world.

Does their philosophy speak to your soul? Do you dig their vibe? Move away from the base-level human desire of, “who can get me what I want?” to “who’s speaking to my soul, to the deeper part of me?”

This will bring you a richer experience with far better “results” than you can imagine.

Tip 2: Don’t refi your house for that coaching package

Buyer, be wise. If you have to put a coaching/therapeutic package on multiple credit cards, refi your home or cash out your 401k – it’s not the right fit for you.

The cost should be expansive, meaning it’s enough to get your attention, i.e., “I can’t let this purchase go to waste, I just spent $___ on this!” but it shouldn’t flatline your finances.

Stretch yourself yes, don’t do yourself harm.

Tip 3: Be crystal clear on what you want to get out of working with them

Know exactly what you want and communicate it clearly.

Share openly along the way when self-sabotage and barriers come up so you can face them head-on. The majority of people give up when obstacles arise. Don’t be most people – keep your focus on your intention and keep moving forward.

There’s a solution for every problem – it only takes time, consistency, dedication and determination for you to arrive where you most desire to be.

This year you won’t have to wistfully hope that those journal intentions come true or that your tearful prayer will turn into the love of your life (oh yeah, that was me, but you get it, right?). Happy New Year!