Going through fertility treatment is tough enough as it is, let alone adding further stress through the anxiety of life itself. Here are some typical quotes I’ve heard people say:

i know i can’t conceive because i want it too much

I worried so much about my finances that i have worn my body out

This is my own fault i worry too much i just can’t stop

Maybe the self-blame is a natural attempt to restore a sense of control: “If I made myself infertile, I can undo the problem.” But this belief not only makes the victim responsible for her own misfortune, it’s not accurate.

In fact, even when physical stress or emotional stress does interfere with your menstrual cycle, stress-induced hormonal changes are usually self-correcting and self-limiting. That means when there is a fertility problem that follows stress, the stress was most likely a trigger for a pre-existing medical condition or predisposition.

Think about it. Women can conceive under the most stressful circumstances if there is no physiological problem — even traumatized women and war prisoners often get pregnant. If reproductive systems are as vulnerable to stress as many believe, the human species would have perished long ago. And that means the old advice, “Just relax and then you’ll get pregnant,” is a myth.

So here are some easy steps you can take to lower your anxiety and improve your fertility:

  • Talk to your partner about absolutely everything. They will be the link between you successfully becoming pregnant and they will be the most important part of your fertility journey.
  • Reinvigorate your sex-life through romance and spice things up again in the bedroom.
  • Choose to behave as if your are calm and centered, your brain will signal to your body that you don’t need another adrenaline rush.
  • Don’t leave a job because of stress levels, this in turn will add stress financially which you just don’t need.
  • 20 minutes a day of laughter can reduce your stress and anxiety by 50 percent. Take time out to enjoy life without the worry of fertility treatment.
  • If you enjoy working out then do so, exercise is amazing for anxiety and stress and overall it will get your body in a prime position to become pregnant.
  • And finally become your own best friend. Stop blaming yourself and treat yourself to the same supportive nature that your would provide others with.

All in all, give yourself a break. And remind yourself that infertility certainly causes stress, but stress does not certainly cause infertility.