It was April 2007, I was living what I thought was the dream. At least I was to outward appearances. I had it all – was very young and was in the top of my field with 700 people working for me. I’ll own that I was a workaholic. I properly burned the candles at both ends.
I knew so much about how to live an amazing life, and yet I wasn’t doing it.
Instead, all my time and energy was spent living for others, seeking that outside approval, validation and love, suppressing the call of my heart.
I was on the treadmill of life. Chasing, seeking, searching. “I’ll be happy when…” But happiness never arrived.
That’s when things really started to fall apart.
My life hit a crisis point. I became chronically ill and was hit with a whole host of health issues; meniere’s disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, migraines, graves disease, digestive problems, not to mention debilitating anxiety.
I was lost beyond the breakers, struggling to keep my head above as the endless swell of life pushed over me.
I went through MONTHS of gruelling tests, MRI’s CT scans, ENT specialists, audiologists – you name it. My chronic illnesses worsened, my body kept crashing and my ability to think clearly was diminishing. There were days I couldn’t get out of bed at all let alone crawl to get to the bathroom. I became totally unreliable, not knowing when an attack of vertigo or nausea would start or end.
As my condition moved in, life moved out. I was ready to give up. Ready to let the anxiety and diagnosis win.
My Screeching Halt
I knew my life needed to change.
I felt stuck.
I was hiding.
I felt alone and didn’t want people to see I was struggling, I didn’t want to step into the person I knew I could be.
I was neglecting myself, my health was down the rabbit hole and I wasn’t feeling fulfilled anymore.
I was paralysed because I wasn’t where I wanted to be.
My wake up call came when after months of sick, I got another diagnosis that I had not one, but two incurable illnesses – autoimmune condition and Meniere’s and with it came the dreaded, “there’s nothing we can do.”
The doctor recommended I get my thyroid removed, take radioactive iodine and synthetic hormones for the rest of my life.
It was in that moment I knew it wasn’t ok.
This wasn’t an ‘aha’ moment, it was a smack around the head with a cold dose of reality.
And that was when I became the CEO of my life.
Enter the Inner Healer
It took a serious dance on the dark side to realise that there must be more to this life than battling through, day-by-day and fighting against myself in every way.
I realised the way I was living my life and treating my body was not ok. I left the doctors office and questioned everything.
And I changed everything I was doing.
The way I was thinking, eating, drinking, resting and renewing.
An interesting thing then started to happen. I started getting better.
My disease was telling me that I needed to make fundamental changes in my life and then my body started healing.
If I couldn’t be cured, could I still be healthy?
Could I participate in my wellness instead of participating in my illness?
Could I choose love over fear?
Loving my body and loving my life instead of fearing my body and fearing my life?
Here’s the thing about fear. It can be very useful.
It gets us to the hospital when we’re feeling sick. It tells us not to go down that dangerous road.
But fear cannot become your fact.
Fear can inform you, but not define you.
Fear can awaken you, but not cripple you.
So I chose love every day.
I decided that if I was remaking my life, I would really listen to my heart. And I walked away from it all.
When I dumped the junk and aligned myself with my higher purpose, the pieces of the puzzle all fell into place.
So What Happened?
Well, I did a complete 180 on sick and opened myself to this new life.
I went back to the doctor’s office. But this time it was different.
My levels were all back in normal range and I was officially autoimmune disease free.
I quite literally live in happiness.
I have gone to the dark side of fear and emerged stronger than ever before.
All that stress, burnout, fatigue and overwhelm was gone and replaced with so much vitality and balance, clarity and confidence.
Why this is Important to You
I want you to know that you don’t have to feel alone.
If you too have experienced anything of what I have just shared, I want to lovingly tell you not to let anyone dictate the prognosis of your life. You have options. You can heal yourself, and you can change your life whenever you choose.
I’m here to remind you that you are so much more than you can ever imagine yourself to be.
And I’m here to remind you how incredible you already are.
If you know anybody in your world who needs this message, share this with them and let them know that you are here for them and that you see them.
For more guidance in how you can take back your health and become the CEO of your Life, listen to the interview with Rosie over on FRIED: The burnout podcast!