The healing process is scary and painful.
It isn’t for the weak. The feelings of fear when I first acknowledged the fact that I was wounded caused me to panic and the pretension that I’m all well and good began as early as six years old. I lived in pain for a long time and discovered my high tolerance for emotional and mental abuse. This survivor lifestyle led me to endure trauma after trauma. I tricked myself again and again that I was okay by accomplishing my goals in my early years. “I’m just going to put a band-aid on and keep moving.”
But just because you can endure the pain doesn’t mean you have to.
Healing asks for vulnerability.
The wound became infected. My conscious negligence festered in a disgusting habit of constant stress and stimulation. All to distract me from facing the truth.
I was a wounded animal with rabies; snarling, growling, ready to rip someone’s throat out. Kill or be killed. The putrid puss of aggression, anger, judgement, defensiveness, and controlling characteristics seeped through the bandages of my emotional and mental body. It was heading towards infecting my physical and spiritual body.
- My neck and shoulder locked up in pain
- I suffered from 3 ectopic pregnancies and infertility
- Epidural shots were administered
- I blamed everyone; including GOD
I was not okay….
Healing begins with a decision.
None of the above were realities I wanted to keep. So I decided to heal. The healing method of undressing the wound, made me realize the strength I had within. Shit I’m a survivor! I survived for years with bandage after bandage. But it was time to heal the root which was my emotional and mental body. Once a decision was made, the how fell into place.
Survival mode isn’t enough….
Healing relieves as well as refreshes.
The next steps of cleansing and removing layers upon layers of infected t(issues) was an excruciating endeavor. However, I discovered that I was and still am worthy of healing and saving over and over again. Even from myself. So a regimen was implemented.
- Began yoga
- Became conscious of my diet
- Started a meditative practice
- Came out of the spiritual closet as a spiritual medium
- Sought therapy
- Invested in my mental well being through coaching certifications and hypnosis; applied it to myself.
“Transformation and change happens when a new element is introduced.”
Healing requires commitment.
I reached out and asked for help. Professionals that I trusted and resonated with. It showed me that there are wonderful people out there whose purpose is to truly help. Who empowered, encouraged, and respected my thoughts and decisions of how to proceed. Vulnerability with a purpose isn’t weakness but strength. There are many roads to recovery. Mine were a multitude of scenic routes. Full of detours, bumpy roads, un-glamorous pit stops, and dangerous cliffs. The secret was to keep going no matter how many times I relapsed into the old me. It wasn’t easy, it is not a passive journey, but one that requires a committed mind, body, soul, and spirit.
“Consistency is key.”
Healing relieves you from further pain.
I wish I could tell you that it’s one and done. Healing leads to growth, and as long as breath expels from our body, we never stop growing. The truth is, once I started healing, I didn’t want to stop. And why would I? The result was a healthier, more loving and fulfilled version of me, honoring not only myself, but others and the community.
- A strong mind
- Healthy boundaries
- An unbroken spirit
- A nurtured physical body
Are you ready to heal? Are you willing to explore becoming superhuman? I hope that you find this article helpful and begin the first stages of your journey. My self-ish lifestyle approach is about building a powerful foundation built of all the above. It isn’t about sugar coating or watering down the ugliness that exists or have existed. But to provide support while facing every spectrum of trauma with courage and optimism towards a healthier outlook. Beyond trauma—you will recognize—you are a spiritual being having a human experience and your perspective becomes your reality. What’s your perspective like?