In a world in constant conflict about what is good, bad, right, and wrong – it’s no wonder it can seem impossible to find our own sense of truth among all the defined standards, judgments and expectations! When do you stop listening to what the world tells you is right and begin listening to what you know is right, true and authentic for you?
Judgements are essentially all the values, ideals, points of view and perspectives we are entrained to adopt as our own from the moment we are born. We rarely question their validity, absorbing them unconsciously, and when we discover that we don’t fit in with those judgments, rather than acknowledging our difference and seeking our truth, we assume something is very wrong with us and invalidate ourselves for not being able to fit in with everybody else’s points of view.
Have you noticed how judgement always seems to diminish your true sense of self? Judgment also destroys our joy and sense of freedom to choose what truly would work in our lives. When you judge, you cannot see your unique possibilities. When you don’t judge, there is space for awareness of your truth to show itself.
The good news is: you can stop judging you. The bad news is: it’s a choice you have to make. And in a world where judgment is the main pastime, it may take some courage!
If you are ready to stop the judgement cycle and access what is true for you, here are four tools to facilitate your way:
What is true for you is light.
Have you noticed that the harder you try to live by other’s ideals, the harder it gets? How often have you tried to do everything the right way, and it just doesn’t “feel” right to you? When we aren’t living true to ourselves, there is no sense of ease, space or lightness. When something is right and true for you, it has a sense of lightness and spaciousness – you tend to be more relaxed, there is a greater “flow” in life. Start to trust you and follow your sense of “lightness”, even if it doesn’t always make rational sense.
Be grateful for yourself.
Gratitude is one of the quickest ways to reverse the effect of judgements. Wake up and start your day with acknowledging at least three things about yourself that you are grateful for? Rather than a list of all the judgments of you, what if you could start every day totally different?
Ask questions
Start asking questions that encourage you to create your life, not fit in with the standards of others:
What can I be or do today to create the future I know is possible right away?
What choices do I have now that I’ve never had before?
What’s right about me I’m not getting?
Asking questions like these will take you out of judgement and invite new possibilities and new ways of living you hadn’t allowed yourself to consider before.
Make a different choice.
Every judgement you make, buy into, or believe only creates more judgment. You can stop judgement at any moment simply by make a different choice – a choice to not judge, to ask a question, to trust you, enjoy being you, acknowledge your gifts and greatness. Every time you make a different choice, it creates something different in your life. What would the choice to judge you less, even for just a few minutes a day, create in your life?
In a world full of judgement, what if you were the one that began to discover what is true for you and possible for you beyond judgement? If judging yourself is the greatest cruelty you do against you, what if discovering your truth is the greatest kindness? And by choosing that kindness, what could that change in the world, too?