At the age of 30, my best friend encouraged me to go to the doctor. She knew I had not had my menstrual cycle in a year and was concerned for me. I chalked it up to all of the CrossFit I had been doing, which could easily have been keeping it at bay.
There was one thing off, though, that I did recognize. I would cry at random times. One example was when I was with a bunch of friends for Friendsgiving. We were watching one of my favorite holiday movies, Elf. This movie is hysterical, yet tears would start popping out of my eyes without warning. I remember walking away from the group, thinking, “this is odd.” The tears would pop randomly probably three times a week, always unexpected.
I went to the gyno and she decided to run some tests. When she came back with the results, she was acting strange. Regardless, she recommended some antidepressants. I refused to take her up on this as I’m not fond of drugs, and I didn’t feel depressed. She sent me off home with nothing more to say. It felt like something was missing. A couple of hours later, she called me to share that she had some news. My doctor had wanted to double-check with some other colleagues regarding my lab reports before sharing the results she saw.
It turns out my hormones, all three of them, estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone had flatlined.
The doctor shared with me that at the age of 30, it looks like I would never be able to have kids.
Yikes. Recently divorced in the past couple of years without any new prospects for a new lifelong relationship, this was the last thing I wanted to hear. She made some suggestions which I remember none of because now everything was falling on deaf ears. I had gone numb.
Once I got a hold of myself the next day, I did some research and figured out a few things. One of which showed that the blood tests can come back differently depending upon where you are in your cycle. I decided to go to a naturopathic doctor who specialized in hormones for a second opinion.
The naturopath confirmed the flatlined hormones and surprisingly also offered antidepressants. When your hormones drop, you lose control of your emotions. Hence the random crying I had been experiencing. Thank God, she also said this is all reversible. She prescribed tinctures for various times of my cycle along with regular acupuncture. The most significant prescription, though, was removing all stress from my life.
Hilarious. Is this even possible?
Soon after this diagnosis, I moved to Los Angeles and did my best to live without stress. Being surrounded by the sunny weather most definitely brought more happiness and joy into my life. I decided to sign up for a three-day silent retreat to meet new friends and expand upon myself. Even though it was a quiet event, I figured we’d talk every once in a while so I could meet new people.
We danced, we listened, we got in touch with their bodies, it was magical.
The following Monday, I sat down at my laptop to work on a startup company I had been creating. My body started overheating as I went to start typing. I could barely move. It was intense. I felt like I was pushing through the resistance of hot molasses or lava. When I backed away, everything was fine. So, I decided to take a walk at the beach, and get some fresh air.
When I came back to my place and sat down at my laptop, the resistance in my body started coming in hot again. Craziness. I decided to stop working that day. Obviously, it was not in store for me. I felt completely normal during the day doing everything else, but working on the startup.
The following day, I decided to attempt working. Nope, the heat buildup instantly came on strong again. Wow. I was so baffled. What does this mean? Why is this happening? What is going on?
Then it hit me. If there was this underlying current of heat within my body the whole time I had been working on the startup company, no wonder I was flatlining my hormones. Nothing could sustain itself in these temperatures of an environment.
At that moment, I realized my body had something to say. We were taught this concept during the silent meditation as well. It’s just that I was only now truly understanding the message. More so, I learned the presence and strength to listen to it during the past three days.
My body had a voice.
That day, sadly, but surely, I shut down my baby, the startup. It was deeply emotional. I had poured my heart, soul, time, and money into it for over four years. Looking back, it is clear to see the nonstop obstacles and challenges I had endured during the startup process. Maybe had I learned to listen to my body sooner, I would have had a smoother ride.
Throughout the day, all these “aha” moments started popping into my head. For example, I remembered my body cringing when I first encountered my ex. Yet I was with him for eight tumultuous years. My body gave me nudges of advice all the time and I didn’t recognize it.
I had a complete disconnect between my body and my mind.
For many others, I’ve now seen this disconnect as well. Since this turning point, I have made it my mission to coach people into alignment with their lives by learning the wisdom and language of their bodies. I called the process, body intelligence. It is our birthright and a whole new level of emotional intelligence.
Our bodies guide us in every step of our lives, and as you learn the vocabulary, you will also strengthen your intuition.
I’ve learned that the obstacles and challenges don’t need to be as rough as they are. Now I use my body and intuition in all decisions made.
I write, have a new book on body intelligence, coach many, and speak for multiple companies and communities. I live from the purpose and the wisdom of my body. I know this message had to get out.
Since this “aha” turning point of my journey, I have completely taken a turn towards living in bliss and harmony.