Now a days we are fighting a crazy silent battle against stress. And stress is the #1 silent killer.

Stress can cause a healthy 30 year old man to drop dead. Stress can cause you to gain weight and be depressed. Stress can hold you back from chasing your dreams and allowing yourself to be you.

Stress is a response within the body that causes your flight or fight system to response. I would take a wild educated guess and say 90% of people are stressed 24/7 and have their “fight and flight” system running all day!

There are two types of stress.

While in college I learned, there are two types of stress eustress and distress.

Eustress which comes from endorphins, according to MentalHelp. Which is the “good feeling” all over your body when you are in love, see someone you love, and or the feeling you get during and after some good sex. 10% of the population is here all day everyday while the rest of the 90% experience this only a few times year. (Ex. Birthday, holidays, and days off from work or school, weekend turn up!)

Then there is Distress which causes catecholamines, according to US National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health . That stress is associated with a negative life and diseases. 90% of the population lives here 24/7! Do you live here?

What if I told you there is a simple ultimate cheat sheet to not just deal, but overcome stress.

Step 1. Stop calling it stress. Start calling it what it is!

Stress is the effect of whatever is causing you stress!

For example, I always wanted to open my health coach business, but I was afraid that I would fail and not make any money. Pretty dumb of me. So at the time I was a server and I hated it! I made good money doing it but I didn’t want to serve people thru food. I want to serve people thru healthy lifestyle changes and fitness. I was stressed because I was holding myself back and I hated my job. Just like right now you may be stressed because you hate your job, a person, and or something. It was not stress, it was my job and my own limiting belief in myself that was causing me stress.

Examples of stress:

Your boyfriend or girlfriend is at home not doing anything and expecting you to work crazy hours to support you both.

You can’t accept where you are in life at the moment.

You have no communication in your relationship.

You have a limiting belief in yourself right now.

You are a single parent trying to raise your kids.

Your friends and family don’t support you and your lifestyle, dreams, and or goals.

You have way too many bills at the end of the money and not enough money to go around.

Remember to be honest! And it is not stress, so call it what it really is.

Step 2. Channel that “stress”

When you are stressed, it is like a big negative ball of energy growing in your body. It has to come out some way and somehow! Many times it comes out in the form of new fat being found around your midsection. For example men are known to gain weight during their wife’s pregnancy just because of the “stress.” The men have no outlet because they want to be strong for their wife and in turn their body takes all that stress and turns it into fat.

Another example, as a server I have had some pretty nasty comments said to me and you would not believe me even if I told you them. However, no matter how nasty those privileged American guest were I had to keep my professionalism and couldn’t take my “stress” out on them. Many times I would have hold it in and had to continue my job without properly handling that stress. Just like you may be in a highly stressful place right now but you just have to take it and are not allowed to let that stress out.

We MUST find a POSITIVE channel to let it out.

Eating a whole tub of ice cream, smoking 2 packets of cigarettes, and or getting drunk is NOT going to help. That is like putting a bandage on a gunshot wound.

Some more POSITIVE POWERFUL channels are

Talking to a trusted friend that will LISTEN to you and then you LISTENING to them. Good open communication to a trusted friend gives you one of the most important human needs. Connection, feeling of belonging, and understanding. Being connected and knowing someone understands you is so powerful for you. Have you ever met someone that you know when you talk to them everything will be alright? Majority of the time they never give you any advice but just offering their two listening ears was more than enough to make you feel better.

True Listening is hearing what someone has to say without any intention of putting your own two senses into it and or waiting for your moment to response.

Sex, sex, sex. and more sex! A POWERFUL POSITIVE channel is SEX. Stress causes build of negative energy within you like I stated above. Sex allows us to release that negative energy in a positive way. The benefits of sex are too many to list! Let it be known, I DO NOT BELIEVE in sex with just anyone just because you are stressed out! That is NOT what I am talking about ! Sex with a TRUSTED partner that has a UNDERSTANDING of your wants and needs too. Not this selfish I am getting mine attitude now a days.

I DO NOT BELIEVE in sex with just anyone!

Another one is exercise! Going to the gym and crushing your “stress” with the punching bag or some weights is a great idea! Going on a walk and breathing in fresh air will clear you up! Hitting the mountainous hiking trails is another amazing idea! With each step let that stress out on the mountain!

My personal favorite is yelling by myself. I just yell at the top of my voice out loud. This sounds weird and a bit strange. Please make sure no one is around you. You may look a little crazy.

There are many POSITIVE channels, you have to find the one that works for you!

Step 4 POSITIVE Affirmations

Life and death are in the power of your tongue. So use your words to build yourself and overcome “stress”. Switch from saying “I am stressed, I have no money to pay my bills, I hate my life, my boyfriend is lazy.” To saying “I am powerful, I am able to handle anything life throws at me, my boyfriend is so supportive, my bank account is full of money, and money is coming from different directions.”

You can find more affirmations on my website and get my personal favorites sent to your email by subscribing to my email list. You must start saying them daily to not only overcome, but conquer your stress!

Step 5 Take Action

You have all the tools to not only overcome but conquer your stress! But you have to TAKE ACTION! No one can do anything for your stress but you! By taking daily action you will find that “stress” you identified to be gone sooner than you know. However, if you read this and do not take actions you will be stressed out and may even be a victim to the silent killer of stress.

“Don’t be a information gatherer, be a prolific action taker.”

Originally published at medium.com