The universe really does know when you’re two-faced. News flash: It will not reward you for this behavior! Being two-faced puts negative energy into the world, and you will receive the same in return. You may see it arise in a way that isn’t exactly related to what you said or did; that’s karma and the negativity that you delivered will find you. Energy does not discriminate on the type of experience for any specific person. It just finds its way to make an entrance and presents itself. Then, the perpetrator has to deal with it.
It’s happened to all of us. You overhear a conversation between a group of people, or maybe you’re engaged in discussion with one or more people when it occurs: Gossip, aka $h!t talk. One person talking badly about another person. Another stabbing someone in the back. Judging, comparing, projecting, instilling ignorance and unpleasantries into the environment. But, it’s not just any environment, it’s your workplace — the space you go to each day to produce your best work and to be of service to your clients and customers. It’s much more difficult to be productive, let alone positive, when the juju all around feels dark and the air is heavy.
Often times when someone chooses to talk badly about another behind their back they quickly seek validation and attempt to get those they’re engaged with to agree. Reinforcement by others makes them feel as if they have reason to be voicing their judgments, churlishness and criticisms. This kind of toxic interaction adds fumes into a workplace, and over time this smolders, eating away at the culture and employee morale.
This is where you come in — because YOU have a choice. Perhaps historically if you found yourself in a situation like this, you felt it was appropriate to put aside your own true nature, compassion and empathy for other humans to listen to and agree with “the judger”. Or, maybe you didn’t think about yourself at all and just jumped right into the abyss and agreed for fear of speaking up. You knew that it’s wrong and inappropriate to stab someone in the back and you likely even heard an internal voice say to you, ‘this is making me uncomfortable’. Each and every one of us has our own perceptions and opinions. It’s just bogus for one to think that in order to get along and possess team spirit we all need to agree.
Isn’t it always when someone is being talked about that out of nowhere they suddenly appear? Coincidence? Some would say yes, but to me it’s an opportunity, for honesty and truth. It’s your chance to say to that person what is on your mind. If it’s important enough to share it with a third party, how could it not be important to share directly with the Subject? Not many take the path of honesty, though. Instead they say ‘hi, how are you’ as if they actually care how that person is doing when in reality they were demeaning him/her twenty seconds ago.
This type of immature behavior happens all too often, and over the course of my career I’ve seen it far too much in the business world. Some people believe that it actually helps them bond with others or enhance camaraderie in the office. They do not see beyond the moment of gossip. They do not see the dark energy they’re adding to their surroundings nor how it will affect everyone else. They do not seem to understand that other people around them are not the reason for their own insecurity or bad attitude.
It’s time to be mature and act like respectful adults at work. Be done with treating people poorly behind their backs. Out with disrespect and judgment, and in with compassion and empathy. There are very good tools for people to assess what they’re feeling internally and to process those feelings — it’s called meditation, stillness, quiet time alone. Humans must learn to understand that what they say and how they treat others is a projection of how they feel about themselves. Projection and blame on others will not change things or make you feel better. Once you know this and believe it, you can find compassion for others and respect differences.
Remember the next time you get roped into a gossip session: The universe is aware of what you think, do and say. You do not have to engage or agree. Mind your thoughts, act in noble ways and use language wisely.